Almost Perfect - Brian Katcher [104]
“You look terrible.”
“That’s better.” I couldn’t tell if she was grinning or if that was just the way her face had swelled.
“Sage, I …”
“Don’t.” There was something very final in the way she said that. “Don’t apologize, don’t say you’re sorry, don’t ask me what you can do. My family’s been giving me that bullshit all week.”
“But …”
She sighed. “Let me make it easier for you. You used me, and that makes you a prick. You wouldn’t stand up for me, and that makes you a wimp. After everything you promised, you still thought of Logan first.”
So much for her wanting to get back together. She turned and faced me again, and she really was smiling this time.
“But I don’t hate you. I don’t really like you, but I can’t actually hate you, either.”
“I didn’t mean—”
She cut me off. “I swear, Logan, you give me a whiny apology, and I’ll get you thrown out of here.”
My thoughts regrouped. “How are they treating you?”
Sage rubbed her side. “It’s kind of a weird place. They lobotomized some guy last week, and then this big Indian threw a sink through a window and escaped.”
“I’m pretty sure that was a movie.”
“Okay, the food stinks and everyone keeps wanting to talk about my feelings.”
I tapped my fingers on the arm of the couch. There was a question I had to ask to put my mind at ease. “Sage, your father said you … threatened to hurt yourself. Did you mean that?”
Sage leaned her head back, grimaced in pain, then slouched forward. “I’m not going to kill myself. I wouldn’t hurt Tammi like that. Or my mom. Or you, I guess. But sometimes I do want to die.”
“You’re too wonderful to die.” It slipped out before I could stop myself, and it was dangerously close to what the doctor had warned me about. But I kept talking. “Sage, I’ve never met anyone like you before. You’re too bizarre, too tacky, too ridiculous for words.” That didn’t sound right. “I mean, I just really enjoy you. You’re fun and loud and …”
Sage almost laughed. “I can see why you’re not on the debate team. But thank you, Logan. You know, you always made me feel normal. I suppose we should have stayed friends. I guess I just wanted us to be more.”
“That’s what I wanted too.” And then, when I got what I wanted, I ran away.
Sage seemed to straighten up. “I guess I’m not the first girl who got fucked over by some asshole.” She looked at me with false contempt. “And I’m not the first girl who got her teeth knocked out by some psycho. When I decided I wanted to be a girl, I forgot that I’d be inheriting a whole new set of problems.”
She sounded hopeful that she was going to put everything behind her.
“How long will you have to stay here?”
“Not long. Maybe two more weeks. My folks are working it out with the school so that I can make up my work and still graduate.”
I’d been worried about that. “I’ll visit you again. Every day, if you want.” Then I could spend the summer proving to her that I was worthy of her friendship. That if she gave me another chance, I wouldn’t let her down.
Sage wouldn’t meet my eye. “No, Logan. We won’t ever see each other again.”
She said it matter-of-factly, like she was dropping a class or something. I hoped she was joking.
“What?”
She turned until I was facing her back. “You heard me.”
“Why? We’ll be at Mizzou together. I know I’ve used up my asshole points, but don’t tell me you don’t want to be friends anymore! Is that what you really want?”
“Keep your voice down or they’ll kick you out.” Sage stared up at the blank TV screen for a moment, her hand gently touching her bruised cheek. “Logan, I’m not going to Mizzou. I’m going to take a year off and go to school … somewhere else.”
“Somewhere else? What for?”
Sage just looked past me, running her tongue along her damaged smile.
I was ready to start climbing the walls like a resident. “Sage, if you want me out of your life, fine. Get a restraining order. I won’t go within fifty feet of you. You don’t have to talk to me again. But would it really be so horrifying to live in the same city as me? Mizzou’s huge. We’d probably never run into each other.”
I was