American Outlaw - Jesse James [98]
“I’m pregnant.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” Janine said, steadily. “I’m pregnant, Jesse. We’re going to have a baby.”
My mouth hung open, like I’d been sucker punched in the stomach. Immediately, I called bullshit.
“We’ve been broken up for months.”
“The last night we spent together,” she said, shaking her head. “It must have been then.”
“No way,” I said, folding my arms stubbornly. “Impossible. I mean, what are the chances?”
“Hey,” Janine said, shrugging. “I’ve done the math, and it had to have been then. I haven’t been with anyone else.”
“Why would I believe that?” I snorted. “I don’t know who you’ve been spending time with lately.”
“For all I’ve done wrong, honey, I’ve never once wanted to be with anyone else,” Janine said. “You can believe me or not, but it’s yours, Jesse. I promise.”
I felt frantic. I had no idea what to say or do. In a single instant, my entire world had just been turned upside down.
“You and I can’t have a baby,” I protested weakly.
“We don’t have any choice,” Janine said.
“We tried this already. It didn’t work. Remember?”
“I’m starting to think that we should give it another chance,” Janine said, patiently. “You know, I don’t think we’ve tried hard enough, yet.”
“No,” I said stubbornly. “I tried. I tried damn hard. You know what? I want a paternity test.”
“Oh, fine!” Janine said, the frustration finally rising in her voice. “If you want to be difficult about it, then off we go.”
That week, we drove together in silence to an expensive doctor’s appointment, where a prenatal sampling of Janine’s ripening placenta returned the verdict that I had been fearing all along.
“See?” Janine said triumphantly. “I told you it was yours. Didn’t I?”
I slumped forward, in shock. “What the hell are we going to do now?”
“We’ll just have to get along, that’s all.” Janine kissed me on my neck, and looked into my eyes expectantly. “Because, Jesse, we’re going to raise this little baby together.”
——
That very evening, she moved back into my house. She marched her clothes back into the closet, marshaled her lipsticks along her side of the bathroom sink.
“I missed this,” Janine said, kissing me gently. “I missed making a home with you.”
I shook my head, still not knowing what to think or how to feel. “Janine . . .”
“Yes, honey?” she asked, turning on the television, settling back onto my bed, as if she had never left.
“This is all happening way too fast for me,” I said. “I had sort of gotten used to the idea of . . . well, of us having separated.”
“We did separate,” Janine said patiently. “But,” she wagged her index finger at me, “we didn’t divorce. And aren’t you happy now that we didn’t? That would have been a bunch of unnecessary paperwork, huh? I mean, now that we’re getting back together.”
“What?” I said.
Janine raised herself up on one elbow and looked at me oddly. “Honey, we’re having a child together. Of course we’re getting back together. It may take some work, but I’m willing to do my part. Aren’t you?”
“Shit,” I stammered, “I don’t know. I mean . . . maybe . . . but if I’m going to do this, there’s got to be some rules, okay?”
“That’s fine,” Janine said. “Like what?”
“Like, no more crazy fighting. I can’t deal with it, Janine!”
“Um, I hate to say this,” Janine said, calmly, “but you’re the one who’s yelling right now.”
I tensed my fists. “Look. I just need this to be different than it was. I don’t want to have the same kind of marriage that my folks did. I can’t stand battling against you all the time. I can’t stand being scared to bring my kids around someone who I’m supposed to be in love with . . .”
“So, hey, hey—just take a deep breath, baby,” Janine said, laughing. “I mean, your blood pressure must be going through the roof! Wow, what the hell’s got into you since I’ve been gone?”
“What’s got into me?” I whispered.
“You look frustrated,” she said. Her eyes crinkled sympathetically. “I think you need to lie down next to me. Come on. Calm yourself. Take a second to think about this little baby we’re having. Don’t you want it to come into