Amy Inspired - Bethany Pierce [92]
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From: spenceev@copenhagen.edu
To: gallagham@copenhagen.edu
Sent: Friday 4.20.07 1:30 PM
Subject: Dummy’s Guide
Amy:
Read your piece. Whimsical form for a cathartic rant. And funny. Enjoyed the
“dictionary” definitions excerpt in particular.
My theory: you have been reading Vonnegut and receiving rejections. A
courageous first attempt at pomo metafiction, yes?
Will leave my formal response on your desk.
Ever so sincerely,
Everett
P.S. Lonnie sends his love
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From: gallagham@copenhagen.edu
To: spenceev@copenhagen.edu
Sent: Saturday 4.21.07 11:37 AM
Subject: Ugh
Everett:
Thanks for your response. It was, as always, brilliant. I’m recycling the manuscript as we speak.
You really think I am trying to be Vonnegut? Am I that sophomoric?
Sincerely Dejected,
Amy
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From: iheartofu@writersnet.com
To: gallagham@copenhagen.edu
Sent: Sunday 4.22.07 2:00 AM
Subject: story
Beloved Aimeeeee:
everett is a chump. really, he didn’t like it? then don’t listen to him. i think the whole thing is hilarious straight through and that you should send it out with your next batch of submissions. you’re still submitting, right? tell me you’re submitting. you have to write for two now… . i haven’t read or written a page since coming out here to be w/mom and feel perfectly wretched about it. it’s like this weight on my chest—except, crap, that’s a terrible cliché. see, even my e-mails are clichéd now! and I’m using exclamation points (!!!!)
Zoë, the illustrious
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From: spenceev@copenhagen.edu
To: gallagham@copenhagen.edu
Sent: Monday 4.23.07 9:03 AM
Subject: IMPORTANT
The Intergalactic Gateway Convention is coming to Columbus May 12th through May 14th. Tickets on sale now at 1–800–345-SPACE. Informational flier attached below. Costumes sold separately.
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From: gallagham@copenhagen.edu
To: spenceev@copenhagen.edu
Sent: Monday 4.23.07 9:07 AM
Subject: Re: IMPORTANT
If you want me to respond, then turn around and mock me to my face. I’m sitting three feet away from you.
Amy
P. S. And please put that out, you know you can’t smoke in here.
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From: gallagham@copenhagen.edu
To: iheartofu@writersnet.com
Sent: Wednesday 4.25.07 8:45 PM
Subject: home*sweet*home
Zoë,
Am at home tonight b/c Mom insisted I go with her to buy a dress for the wedding and this was her only night free. I should have gone out myself, but she wanted to buy the dress for me and I couldn’t very well afford anything new on my own. I think this is compensation for the fact that I’m not a bridesmaid, which offends her to no end. I hope Marie believes me when I say I’m glad to be free of the obligation. I’m at that age where being a bridesmaid is a dangerous gamble: “always a bridesmaid …”
I can’t seem to escape this house. I lie in bed and examine why I’m so tied to home (which is not really home anymore—I have worn out my welcome, as the boxed journals and bedclothes indicate), but I feel like it’s out of my hands. I can’t help that Brian is marrying—that you are gone. That I don’t have the money or inclination to be elsewhere. Or do you think those are poor excuses? Am I in danger of become a hopeless, tragic townie in manner of Ethan Frome, my hands tied by impersonal fate?
Amy
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From: iheartofu@writersnet.com
To: gallagham@copenhagen.edu
Sent: Thursday 4.26.07 10:03 PM
Subject: Naturalism Sux
A:
what’s all this ethan frome business? i don’t ever want to hear you mention him again. no more of this fatalistic pessimism. gather the coins from the couch cushions and fly away little bird! flee to a place warm and free where men are your servants and it is Christian to lie on the beach merely contemplating the lovely idea of God.
i asked michael if he could come visit this weekend he said he was going to try then called back to say he couldn’t get away from work. this whole cancer thing totally freaks him out.
Zoë the illustrious but increasingly exhausted.
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From: gallagham@copenhagen.edu
To: iheartofu@writersnet.com
Sent: Thursday 4.26.07 11:45 AM
Subject: (none)
Zoë the illustrious:
Have been praying