• Choose a category
• All
• Classic-Fiction

—The best thing that’s bad for you is butter.

—I can name everyone who lived on our block on Partridge Street fifty years ago. Most people don’t know the names of all their neighbors today.

—Tying a shoelace is a small but satisfying thing to do.

—The lives of people who plan carefully don’t go according to plan any more often than the lives of people who don’t plan them at all.

—There are a lot of magazines with one or two articles in them that I want to read but the magazines are too expensive to buy for one or two articles. The time should come when we can each make up our own magazine from a computer index in our home and have every article we want to read from a lot of different magazines.

—Automobile tires are better than they used to be. Paper handkerchiefs like Kleenex are not.

—If a bottle of wine is really good, you can’t afford it.

—There aren’t nearly as many shoe repair shops as there used to be because people don’t wear out the soles and heels of shoes by walking on them much anymore.

—Learning how to type should be mandatory in grade school.

—When I was in high school, the final score of a basketball game was 38 to 29 or, at the very most, 47 to 36.

—There are some good things on television except when you want to watch. If there are two good things on the same night, they’re opposite each other. There are usually some good things on the night you have to go out, too.

—It is comforting for people with illegible handwriting to know that a lot of brilliant people have terrible handwriting.

On the other hand, of course, a lot of dumb people don’t write so you can read it, either.

—New clothes always look good in the mirror at the store, but I end up not wearing about half of all the clothes I buy.

—Stores have got to make a greater effort to have prices come out even so we don’t get left with so many useless pennies.

—It would be good if there were some way to feed information to the brain intravenously.

—If I could start over, I’d be a much better person.

The Following Things are True about Sports

—There’s more talk about money on the sports pages than in the business pages of the newspaper.

—Of all the balls we use to play games, the football is the most interesting. It was a crazy idea to play a game with a ball that isn’t round, but it’s worked out fine. As a matter of fact, the football is a work of genius. You can kick it or throw it as well or maybe even better than a round ball, and its bounce is just unpredictable enough to add an interesting element to the game.

—When I hear about a golf tournament, I still expect Arnold Palmer to win it.

—I saw Muhammad Ali referred to as “the best-known fistic gladiator the world has ever known.”

Not by me, he isn’t. I’d put two boxers ahead of Ali, both for wellknownness and fighting ability. They are Joe Louis and Jack Dempsey.

Sports heroes from one generation who never compete against each other are hard to compare. Some athletes remain well-known long after their playing days are over and sometimes after anyone is left alive who saw them play. The name Babe Ruth has probably survived the years better than any other sports figure. It’s amazing, when you consider that he played before television, that Babe Ruth is still the best-known American sports figure of all time.

—What talent major league baseball managers have escapes me. Football coaches sound like Phi Beta Kappas by comparison. Baseball managers may have some brains, but I’ve never heard one with an education.

—I’m not clear why the man running a baseball team is called a manager while the one running a football team is called a coach.

—Another difference is in the way they dress. A baseball manager wears a baseball uniform to work. A football coach doesn’t wear a football uniform on the sidelines, even though it wouldn’t look any sillier.

—The game of baseball may be in trouble in the near future and it won’t be simply because of the multimillion-dollar salaries