Andy Rooney_ 60 Years of Wisdom and Wit - Andy Rooney [47]
the best a writer can do.
—There’s nothing mystical or magic about being a writer. A writer is
just a person who writes something. There are almost no people who are
not dentists who can fix teeth, but there are a lot of people who aren’t
professional writers who write very well. This is one of the reasons why
being a writer is tougher than being a dentist.
—I admire people who don’t care what anyone else thinks about
what they do, but I’m not one of them. I care what people think and
would not want you to know how much I hope you like what I write.
An Interview with Andy Rooney
“A nyone attracted to the rugged features of his handsome countenance might at first glance fail to observe the piercing intelligence of Andy Rooney’s steel-blue eyes.”
That’s the way I’d like to have an article about me begin. In the past year I’ve been interviewed twenty times by reporters and none of them has started a piece that way. The articles have been friendly and many of them well done but no one who reads anything about himself is ever totally satisfied. Do they have to point out I’m grumpy? Must the reporter mention that my clothes are unpressed? Is it necessary to say that I’m overweight and getting gray?
What follows are some guidelines for reporters who wish to interview me in the future. I’d like to have the report go more like this:
A proud trio of Emmy award winners; (left) cameraman Walter Dombrow and (center) producer Bud Benjamin
“Rooney, who wears his expensive but tasteful clothes with a casual grace that conceals his position as one of the style setters in the men’s fashion world, talked to this reporter in his hotel suite where he draped his taut, muscular frame over an easy chair.
“Considered by critics to be the leading essayist in print and broadcasting, Andy was disarmingly diffident when this reporter compared his work with that of Mark Twain, Hemingway, Robert Benchley, E. B. White, Walter Lippmann and Art Buchwald.
“‘Shucks,’ he said modestly as he dug his toe into the deep pile rug of the carpet in his penthouse suite, ‘I don’t know about that.’
“Although it is not widely publicized,” this article about me would continue if I had my way, “Andy Rooney might well be known as a modern-day Chippendale, were his mastery of the cabinetmaker’s art not overshadowed by his genius with the English language.
Sartorial Shortcomings 97
“On the tennis court, Andy’s serve has often been compared to that of
John McEnroe. He moves with a catlike quickness that belies his age. “‘Andy is wonderful to work with,’ says his wife, Marguerite. ‘He’s al
ways good-natured and a joy to have around the house. I can’t recall an
argument we’ve had in all the years of our marriage.’
“Rooney’s four children, Ellen, Martha, Emily and Brian, are all perfect, too.
“On the average day, Andy rises at 4:30 a.m. By 6:00 a.m., because of
his unusual ability to read six hundred words a minute, he has finished
two newspapers and Time magazine. His photographic memory enables
him to store anything he has read for long periods of time and it is partly
this ability that makes it easy for him to turn out three interesting, accurate, informative and perceptive essays each week.
“Of his friend, Harry Reasoner says, ‘I only wish I could write as well
as Andy does.’
“During our interview, Rooney got several telephone calls. William
Buckley called to ask his advice on a point of grammar. There was a call
from someone identified only as ‘Ron’ asking for advice on the economy. A third call came from E. F. Hutton asking Andy how he thought
the stock market would behave in the days ahead.”
I’m going to clip this out of the newspaper now and carry it with me
wherever I go. If a young reporter wishes to interview me, I’ll show it to
him, just to give him some idea how I think his report should read.
There’s no sense having reporters waste a lot of time getting the facts.
Sartorial Shortcomings
F rom time to time it is brought to my attention that I’m not the bestdressed man in the world.