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“Go ahead and say it.”

“I wouldn’t think that you’d be that picky,” I said.

“I wasn’t when I first got here. But lately I just don’t want to be with someone who just wants me so she can brag to her friends that she slept with a shapeshifter, or got to sleep where the vampires sleep. No matter how good it feels for a few minutes, it still makes me feel like they’ve just come to look at one of the freaks.”

I slipped my arm through his, squeezed his arm. “Don’t let anybody make you feel like that, Jason. You’re not a freak.”

He patted my hand. “Look who’s talking.”

I pulled away from him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, I’m sorry I said it.”

“No, I want you to explain it.”

He sighed and hurried down the steps, but I was in Nikes and could keep up. Nathaniel followed a few steps behind without saying a word. “Explain it, Jason.”

“You hate the monsters. You hate being different.”

“That’s not true.”

“You accept that you’re different, but you don’t like it.”

I opened my mouth to argue with him, but had to stop myself, had to think. Was he right? Was he? Did I hate being different? Did I hate the monsters because they were different? “Maybe you’re right.”

He looked back at me, eyes wide. “Anita Blake admitting she may be wrong? Gasp!”

I tried to frown at him, but I could feel it held an edge of smile that ruined the effect. “I better get used to being one of the monsters, or so I hear.”

His eyes went serious. “Are you really going to be a wereleopard?”

“We’ll find out, won’t we.”

“You okay with it?”

It was my turn to laugh, but it sounded bitter. “No. No I’m not okay with it, but the damage is done. I can’t change it.”

“Fatalism,” he said.

“Practicality,” I said.

“Same thing,” he said.

“No, it isn’t.”

Jason looked past me at Nathaniel who treaded softly a few steps behind me. “How do you feel about her being a wereleopard?”

“I think I’ll keep my feelings to myself.”

“You’re happy about it, aren’t you?” And there was an edge of hostility in his voice.

“No, I’m not.”

“You get to keep her as your Nimir-Ra now.”

“Maybe.”

“Doesn’t that make you happy?”

“Stop it, Jason. Richard’s told me his little theory about Gregory marking me on purpose.”

“You talked to Richard?” He made it a question.

“Unfortunately.”

“You know what’s happened, then?”

“About you guys taking Gregory, yeah. I talked to Jacob on the phone even.”

Jason looked surprised. “What did you say to him?”

“Gregory dies, Jacob dies.”

“Jacob wants to be Ulfric.”

“We discussed that, too,” I said.

“What did he say?”

“He won’t challenge Richard until after the full moon this month. You better give Sylvie a heads up, because that means Jacob has to defeat her within the next two weeks.”

“Why is he waiting for the full moon?”

“Because I told him I’d kill him if he didn’t.”

“You can’t undercut Richard’s authority like that.”

“I don’t need to, Jason, he’s doing such a good job all on his own.”

We were at the bottom of the stairs, the heavy door hanging open where Jean-Claude had rushed through. “Richard is my Ulfric.”

“I’m not asking you to bad-mouth him, Jason. He’s destroyed his power structure within the pack. It’s not something to debate, it’s just the truth.”

Jason stopped me at the door. “Maybe if you had been here, you could have talked him out of it.”

I was finally angry. “One, you have no right to question what I do, or don’t do. Two, Richard is a big boy and makes his own decisions. Three, don’t you ever, ever question me again.”

“You’re not my lupa anymore, Anita.”

Anger flared through me like a scalding wave, tightening my shoulders, my arms, spilling into my hands. I’d never felt rage so quickly and so completely. I had to close my eyes to concentrate, so I wouldn’t take a swing at him. What was wrong with me?

I felt Nathaniel at my back. “Are you alright?” he said.

I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”

“Look,” Jason said, “I’m sorry, but I don’t want Jacob in charge of the pack. I don’t trust him. Richard may be a bleeding-heart, flag-waving right-winger,