Artemis Fowl_ The Arctic Incident - Eoin Colfer [63]
Not that the human computer was without some merit, in an ancient-history kind of a way. The e-mail had already proved useful. Provided there was anybody alive to answer it. There was also a small camera mounted on the lid, for video-conferencing. Something the Mud People had only come up with recently. Until then, humans had communicated purely through text or sound waves. Foaly tutted, barbarians. But this camera was pretty high quality, with several filter options. If the centaur didn’t know better, he’d swear someone had been leaking fairy technology.
Foaly swivelled the laptop with his hoof, pointing the camera towards the screens on the wall. Come on, Cudgeon, he thought. Smile for the birdie.
He didn’t have long to wait. Within minutes, a com screen flickered into life and Cudgeon appeared, waving a white flag.
‘Nice touch,’ commented Foaly sarcastically.
‘I thought so,’ said the elf, waving the pennant theatrically. ‘I’m going to need this later.’
Cudgeon pressed a button on the remote control. ‘Why don’t I show you what’s going on outside?’
The windows cleared to reveal several squads of technicians feverishly trying to break the booth’s defences. Most were aiming computer sensors at the booth’s various interfaces, but some were doing it the old-fashioned way. Whacking the sensors with big hammers. None were having any luck.
Foaly swallowed. He was a rat in a trap. ‘Why don’t you fill me in on your plan, Briar? Isn’t that what the power-crazed villain usually does?’
Cudgeon settled back into his swivel chair. ‘Certainly, Foaly. Because this isn’t one of your precious human movies. There will be no hero rushing in at the last moment. Short and Root are already dead. As are their human partners. No reprieve, no rescue. Just certain death.’
Foaly knew he should be feeling sadness, but hatred was all he could find.
‘Just when things are at their most desperate, I shall instruct Opal to return weapons control to the LEP. The B’ wa Kell will be rendered unconscious, and you will be blamed for the entire affair, provided you survive, which I doubt.’
‘When the B’ wa Kell recover, they will name you.’
Cudgeon wagged a finger. ‘Only a handful know I am involved, and I shall take care of them personally. They have already been summoned to Koboi Labs. I shall join them shortly. The DNA cannons are being calibrated to reject goblin strands. When the time comes I shall activate them, and the entire squadron will be out for the count.’
‘And then Opal Koboi becomes your empress, I suppose?’
‘Of course,’ said Cudgeon aloud. But then he manipulated the remote’s keyboard, making certain they were on a secure channel.
‘Empress?’ he breathed. ‘Really, Foaly. Do you think I’d go to all this trouble to share power? Oh no. As soon as this charade is over Miss Koboi will have a tragic accident. Perhaps several tragic accidents.’
Foaly bristled. ‘At the risk of sounding clichéd, Briar, you’ll never get away with this.’
Cudgeon’s finger hovered over the terminate button. ‘Well if I don’t,’ he said pleasantly, ‘you won’t be alive to gloat this time.’ And he was gone, leaving the centaur to sweat it out in the booth. Or so Cudgeon thought.
Foaly reached below the desk to the laptop. ‘And cut,’ he murmured, pausing the camera. ‘Take five, people, that’s a wrap.’
CHUTE E116
Holly clamped the shuttle to the wall of a disused chute.
‘We got about thirty minutes. Internal sensors say there’s a flare coming up here in half an hour, and no shuttle is built to withstand that kind of heat.’
They gathered in the pressurized lounge to put together a plan.
‘We need to break into Koboi Labs and regain control of the LEP weaponry,’ said the commander.
Mulch was out of his chair and heading for the door. ‘No way, Julius. That place has been upgraded since I was there. I heard they’ve got DNA-coded cannons.’
Root grabbed the dwarf by the scruff of his neck. ‘One, don