Awake and Dreaming - Kit Pearson [69]
Theo tried to pay attention to Cecily’s instructions. Then Cecily gazed at her tenderly, her eyes brimming. “I’m going away now, dear child. Don’t forget what I’ve told you.”
“Cecily!” Theo ran over and threw her arms around Cecily—but she was clinging to air.
“Cecily …” she sobbed. “Oh, Cecily, please come back!” She flung herself in front of the grave, her tears running into the grass.
Finally she sat up and clutched her knees. She had rushed out without a jacket and the air was misty and dank. The foghorn’s distant note sounded as solitary as she was.
Where should she go? She could trudge up the street to the Kaldors. They would welcome her warmly, but she couldn’t bear their concern and worry. She had no one. Not Cecily, not the Kaldors, and certainly not Rae or Sharon.
Just herself … like the Cat walking by his “wild lone” …
Theo stood up and wiped the tears off her face. She picked up her bike and rode slowly back to Sharon’s, thinking hard all the way.
RAE WAS ALONE in the apartment. “Hi, kid,” she said wearily as Theo slumped in the couch beside her. “Did you have a good time at Tara’s?”
“Where’s Sharon?”
“She went over to Mandy’s. We had a terrible argument. I’ve never seen her so angry! She said some awful things to me.” Rae sniffed, and blew her nose.
Theo switched off the TV. “I was listening to you outside the door. I think everything Sharon said was right. She shouldn’t have to live with me—she’s my aunt, not my mother. You have to live with me.”
“I know that, Theo. We’ll leave Sharon alone and go back to Vancouver tomorrow.” She looked exhausted. “We may have to live at the shelter until I can find another job.”
“No!” Theo stood in front of her mother with clenched fists. “I’m not leaving Victoria! I like it. Sharon’s found us a place to live and you can look for a job here!”
“Oh, kid, I know you like Victoria, but I don’t!”
“I don’t care,” said Theo. “I’m more important. When I’m old enough to live on my own, you can do what you want. Right now you have to do what’s best for me.”
Rae looked astounded. “What’s got into you and Sharon tonight?”
She went into the kitchen and filled a glass from the tap. “You’re both picking on me,” she whined. “It’s not that easy to find a job, you know.”
Theo sat down again and waited. Rae drank her water. She came back to the living-room. “What would I do here? All my old friends have left. And this city has never been my style. Most of the people are so old. ‘The city of the living dead,’ that’s what they used to call it.”
Theo kept waiting. Rae went to the bathroom and stayed there for a long time. Finally she returned and sat down on the couch beside Theo.
“I suppose … I could give it a try. I’m too tired to argue with you.” She sighed. “I’ll start job-hunting tomorrow.”
The energy drained out of Theo. “Thanks,” she mumbled.
Then, to her wonder, Rae looked abashed. “But are you sure—are you sure you want to live with me, Kitten? I’ve been a truly lousy mother! I probably should have given you up for adoption, like everyone said I should.”
“Why didn’t you?” whispered Theo.
“Because I wanted you. For a selfish reason—I thought you’d give some meaning to my life. But …” Rae looked ashamed. “Babies are so scary. I didn’t know what to do with you, you were so tiny and delicate—you looked breakable. And Ma and Sharon took over anyway—they knew what to do with babies. I just seemed to be in the way. So I went to live in Vancouver. I was only sixteen, remember.”
Sixteen … six years older than she was. Theo swallowed. “Why did you take me back, then?”
“It was on one of my visits. I did visit sometimes. And you were