Awake and Dreaming - Kit Pearson [70]
Rae sighed. “But it didn’t work out the way I thought it would. I could never get a good job and then I had another mouth to feed. And you didn’t seem to like me the way you did when I was just a visitor. You screamed all the way to the ferry—everyone on the bus glared at me. You dug your nails into me like a fierce little wildcat—that’s why I started calling you Kitten. You talked about Ma and Sharon for months. Before Ma died, I used to phone and let you talk to her, but that made you retreat from me even more. You can imagine how that made me feel.”
“I’m sorry,” whispered Theo.
Rae sat up straighter. “Sorry! It wasn’t your fault! I shouldn’t have taken you! I made a mess of both our lives.”
“It wasn’t all bad,” Theo said quietly. “There was the time we spent the summer at the children’s camp, when you had that job washing dishes. We lived in a tent and we watched the otters playing by the sea. That was fun.”
Rae sighed again. “Yeah, it was. But there was never much fun, was there? It’s great of you to say that, Kitten, but you may as well admit it—I’ve really botched it.” She lit a cigarette and Theo didn’t say a word about going onto the balcony.
“I’m not sure you should live with me, Theo. I don’t think I’m good for you. I bet Sharon would take you if you asked her to.”
She looked so helpless and so weak.
“Would you—would you still hit me?” said Theo. “It’s wrong to hit children,” she added firmly, remembering Anna’s words.
Rae broke down in noisy, gulping sobs. “Oh, Kitten … oh, Theo … I promise I’ll never, ever hit you again!”
Theo reached out one hand and smoothed her hair. “Then I think we should stay in Victoria and live in the apartment that Sharon found.”
Rae wiped her eyes, looked up and tried to smile. “I guess you’re stuck with me, then. I’ll really try this time. A brand new start, all right?” She pulled Theo over to her and Theo let herself loosen inside her mother’s arms.
22
“Make a wish, Theo!” cried Lisbeth.
Theo sat at the head of the Kaldors’ dining-room table, a huge pink cake with ten candles on it in front of her. She closed her eyes.
I wish that there will be lots of other moments like this one, she thought. Then she blew out all the candles at once.
“Hurray!” Everyone clapped and Ben sang “Happy Birthday” again by himself.
“Ten … double digits!” said Lisbeth with awe.
Theo lifted up the knife. “Don’t cut all the way, it’s bad luck,” warned Anna. Sharon finished slicing the cake.
Theo swirled a delicious spoonful of peppermint sponge cake and strawberry ice cream in her mouth. She gazed down the table. Eleven other people were sitting at it, all here to celebrate her birthday! The six Kaldors, Rae and Sharon, and Skye, Robin and Carol. Each family had brought a dish for dinner and Sharon had made the beautiful cake.
Theo had worried about Rae meeting Laura and Dan, and Skye meeting their children—about mixing up all the people she knew in one house.
Sure enough, the first hour had been rocky. Dan looked uncomfortable as Carol ranted about how the university treated women. Theo watched Laura suppress her scorn at Rae’s outfit—shocking pink bike shorts with a matching halter top. She saw how disapproving Dan and Laura looked when they sent John to find something to use as an ashtray.
When Skye began gushing over Lisbeth’s Barbie collection, Anna said coolly, “You still play with Barbies? Even Lisbeth is tired of them.” The Kaldors kept staring at Rae. They treated Theo gingerly, as if they had just met her.
But as the afternoon went on, Theo tried