Awakening the Buddha Within _ Eight Steps to Enlightenment - Lama Surya Das [83]
The next time you feel so angry that you could scream, ask yourself: Who is making me angry? Perhaps the anger is subtly directed at yourself. When our expectations are not met, we tend to blame others and become angry. But is our discontent really their fault? Shantideva said that anger is the greatest evil because it is so destructive and can cause so much harm. The trained mind of a Bodhisattva, like a peaceful lake, is able to transcend anger. Even if people throw sparks into it, it doesn’t explode because it’s like water and not volatile. The untrained mind, on the other hand, can be likened to a big pool of gasoline. Every spark makes it explode. In life, there will always be sparks. But does there have to be an explosion? That’s your responsibility. No one can make us angry if we have no seeds of anger left inside.
When we think about austerities, we usually imagine a yoga practice like fasting, keeping all-night vigils, lying on beds of nails, or walking barefoot in the snow or on live coals. Shantideva taught that patience in the face of anger is the greatest austerity; patience and forbearance is the hardest inner-outer practice. Concerning right speech, Jesus said that it isn’t what we put into our mouths that defiles us, but rather what comes out. Through awareness practice, we can develop a patient and tolerant inner fortitude; this is the way to transcend the ego reactivity that makes us lash out uncontrollably with words. Shantideva wrote:
Whenever I wish to move
Or to speak,
First I shall examine my state of mind,
And firmly act in a suitable way.
Whenever my mind becomes attached
Or angry,
I shall not react, nor shall I speak;
I shall remain mum and unmoved like a tree.
THE LESS FULL OF OURSELVES WE
ARE, THE MORE ROOM THERE IS
FOR OTHERS
To talk about speech is also to talk about listening. When I first started teaching meditation, a colleague told me that the most important teaching skill to develop was the ability to be still and listen. It was great advice. In our conversations we can be so intent on getting our messages across that we’re not really paying attention to what other people are trying to say. It’s as if we’re just waiting for them to stop speaking so we can say what we already have in mind; our preconceived agendas get in the way of any real dialogue. As you practice Right Speech, try to be open, still, and aware of what others are thinking and feeling. Can you hear when others are happy, sad, depressed, confused? As we become more conscious, more aware, we discover the joys of listening and we let go of our need to broadcast. I call this opening the third ear, the inner ear of genuine listening. If we are sufficiently sensitive and aware, we can listen through all the senses.
Haven’t you ever known someone who seemingly could not listen, someone whose ego seemed so overpowering that he or she couldn’t stop speaking—someone who used words to dominate and control, as if in a filibuster? Some loudmouth who seems to take up almost all the oxygen in any room he or she enters? Or someone whose rude, inappropriate, or provocative remarks constantly invade your space? This is simply “Station Ego” broadcasting, loud and unclear.
Mirror-like awareness clearly reflects things just as they are, without distortion, coloring, or expectation. True listening is a way of stopping and being present so that whatever is being said is immediately apparent, as are all movements in the entire inner and outer energy field. This is one aspect of developing awareness. It’s a skill that good psychotherapists use to clearly reflect, without distortion or interference, whatever is brought up in a counseling session so that their clients can better see and know themselves, and in this way discover for themselves