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By Root 1041 0

Do we have ego needs that are all wrapped up and mixed in with our sexual identity and sex appeal? Does sexuality sometimes dominate our life? When we find someone attractive, what is our real motivation and intent—will we be joyful and caring, or exploitive and harmful? Would we sometimes do almost anything for sexual gratification? Is the sex we are having mutual, or is it one-sided? Are we engaging in behavior that is addictive, deceptive, exploitive, or emotionally or physically abusive? Is it spontaneous, or did it “just happen—as if by accident”? Is it natural, is it appropriate, is it intimate, is it responsible, is it loving? Do our sexual needs cause us to tune out reality or sanity? Do we ever treat others as sexual objects, and in so doing fail to see that they are real people with real feelings? Do we find ourselves lying, telling half-truths, or concocting stories about our sex lives? Do we preach honesty and practice deception? These are important questions to reflect on.

Channeling Sexual Energy

In classic Buddhism, not unlike other world religions, sexual energy has often been regarded as a volatile force that can create complications and prove antithetical to holiness, solitude, and inner silence. In the broader Mahayana Buddhist approach, it is recognized that personal love can be a heart-opening spiritual experience. Even the briefest experience of unconditional love can be transformative. Human love can give the serious practitioner a concrete, visceral glimpse into the meaning of universal love and unconditional compassion. Thus intimate relationships, family life, and sexual energy can be viewed not just as a hindrance to spiritual development, but also as a means of combining passion and compassion in such a skillful way that we will be able to be more engaged and intimate with others and the world.

In the later-developed remarkable tantric teachings which utilize all of our energies as part of the path, sexual energy is recognized as a very powerful and potent force that, like electricity, can be harnessed. Tantra talks about integrating and assimilating all our life experiences into the path rather than excluding any aspect of life as monastics choose to do. Tantric texts tell us to find the right partner, or consort, with whom one can practice tantric sexual exercises as a transformative consciousness-raising practice. The numerous specific tantric practices to accomplish such a goal include visualizing yourself and your partner as deities rather than as an ordinary lustful human couple. There are a variety of ancient traditional yogic practices such as seminal retention, withholding orgasm, touch and hand gestures, special internal muscular movements, rotating the breath and holding it in and out.

Other tantric practices are astrologically connected and reflect the complementary solar and lunar energies within our own being. One practice, for example, involves the visualization of multipetaled lotuses above the heads of you and your partner; this is to help raise your energy level in an upward rather than a downward movement by intentionally elevating your well-honed attention. In the ancient Hindu Tantras, there is a tradition that prescribes both total penetration and stillness. In this practice the yogic couple joins together sexually and then remains in a meditative way, without moving, for thirty minutes, four times a day, without orgasm. This helps develop mastery of breath, energy, inner psychic channels, and the mind and vastly opens the heart center as well as other chakras (energy centers). Tantric practice, if authentic, is a way to use the natural concentration of intense passionate desire to direct our minds further beyond ourselves.

I think it’s important for all of us to remind ourselves that tantric sexual practices are spiritually risky and come with a huge Warning label. In truth, these practices are very advanced, and are rarely genuinely performed or accomplished today. Think of tantra as like the golden roof of the house or temple—before we can work on this beautiful roof,