Awkward Family Photos - Mike Bender [1]
Awkwardly,
Mike Bender and Doug Chernack
www.AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com
alk into just about anyone’s home and you can find one hanging prominently on the wall proudly displayed for all to see. An attempt at wish fulfillment for Mom and Dad, the family portrait provides the chance for them to capture the ideal vision of their brood—ridiculously happy, clean-cut, well-dressed, and not trying to kill one another. For some of us, the image was created in a mall studio where a “professional” photographer arranged us by height, tilted our heads, placed our hands on our siblings’ shoulders, and reminded us to keep smiling despite the blinding lights in our faces and the dreary backdrop behind us. Others opted for the old self-timer technique, which left us frozen in the same position for over an hour while Dad tried to make the damn thing work.
But if we look past the matching sweaters and the choreographed poses, we will often see a more interesting story—the true family dynamic, complete with quirks and vulnerabilities. Perhaps not the ideal family Mom and Dad were hoping to spotlight, but the results are often the most honest snapshots of all.
The photographer felt that adding a fake plant would make this portrait look more natural.
This family sends a mixed message of “Welcome to our home” and “Stay the hell off our property.”
Choose your own adventure.
Immediately following the portrait session, everyone in this family headed out for a job interview.
Generational differences can be put aside in a galaxy far, far away.
But the chairs are all taken.
This is the first photo we took after moving to Humble, Texas, from Chicago in 1981. My dad’s intention was that we should look the part. You be the judge.
The Bychowski Family
Humble, Texas
My parents always wanted a boy, so they forced us to show our manly side with these homemade ties.
The Perry Family
Redmond, Washington
We went to Holland, where my mother is from, and had this picture taken. The thing that strikes me most is the fact that we are doing several activities awkwardly close to each other that are not particularly compatible—spinning wool, pouring hot water, and cleaning fish? Oh, and did I mention the wooden shoes?
The Kleinman Family
Mountlake Terrace, Washington
He felt he had been carrying them for too long.
You know there’s drama in the family when there is literally an elephant in the room.
For all the families who came to my portrait studio, I have a confession to make. I know that I told you forty-five degree head turns and hands on shoulders were good ideas, but as you’re probably well aware now, that kind of wasn’t true.
Here’s the story. When I took the job, the company made all of the photographers go through this old-school training program that probably hadn’t been updated since the fifties. They told us that these “popular” poses were the best sellers and that it was our job to sell them. So, when you asked us, “Does this look good to you?” and I told you with a straight face, “It’s good enough to be in a magazine!”, what I really should have said was, “Maybe in 1953.” For that, I’m sorry, and although you might never have made it into that magazine, I can say that your family portrait is probably good enough to make it into this book.
Salvatore Sebergandio
Professional Portrait Photographer, (1993–1995)
Mind the fro.
Imagine growing up and never even knowing what a crumb looks like.
This baby has just experienced its first invasion of personal space.
The Armshelf
The ‘69 Mustang, Aviator sunglasses, the Armshelf. Need we say more? This classic pose simply and elegantly states, “I’m carefree, playful, and badass enough to support the weight of my own head when lying on my side in a horizontal position.” If that’s the vibe you’re going for, then the A-shelf is one weapon you should consider adding to your arsenal.
The Lean