Awkward Family Photos - Mike Bender [10]
Greg
Ann Arbor, Michigan
My mom dressed me for graduation in a powder blue suit and pointy white Capezio shoes. She thought I looked really stylish and wanted to keep taking photos. All I could think about was getting home and taking off my Saturday Night Fever special.
Chris
Los Angeles, California
My parents had a contentious marriage and divorced when I was five. My mom always had a habit of airing dirty laundry during family get-togethers, so after the divorce, my parents rigorously avoided each other. My dad married my stepmother when I was eleven. This picture was taken when I was twenty-four, and I think my graduation dinner marked the first time my parents and stepmother ever intentionally made plans to eat a meal together. At the point the picture was taken, the college still hadn’t decided if graduation was going to be held outside or in the gym (there was a light sprinkle that day). We were all running around campus trying to figure out where we were supposed to be as it intermittently rained on us. I’m not sure who decided to take the picture, but my sister made sure she was behind the camera.
Victoria
East Longmeadow, Massachusetts
t’s one of the most important days of our lives, so no wonder it is filled with anticipation and excitement. We’re not talking about the happy couple sharing romantic vows and declaring eternal love for each other. We’re of course referring to the real drama of any marriage—the joining together of the happy couple’s families. And in case we were wondering how that was going to turn out, perhaps we got a hint during the wedding planning, when the two families disagreed over who was paying for everything, how many guests each side could invite, and whether our cousin really needed to sit at the head table.
And the results rarely disappoint: parents getting a little tipsy and delivering sloppy toasts, normally restrained relatives letting loose on the dance floor, and in-laws engaging in passive-aggressive conversations, planting the seeds of conflict that will fully blossom a few years later. As for the happy couple themselves, they’re too busy posing for photographs with relatives they never knew existed, nervously performing an overly choreographed first dance, and smearing cake all over each other’s faces to realize that from this day forward, every family gathering just became twice as awkward as it was before.
Nobody will ever spot these inconspicuous newlyweds.
The dress at this wedding was Starfleet optional.
Dropping to one knee to ask your partner to spend the rest of your lives together may feel sufficiently romantic for most of us, but apparently this display of love and commitment just isn’t enough for everyone.
They aren’t just for whispering sweet nothings.
Things only got worse when Heidi showed up for the honeymoon.
When my husband and I first became engaged, we went over to his mother’s house to make the announcement official. We walked into the living room; his arm was around my shoulder, and she was sitting on the sofa. He said, “Mom, we’re getting married!” She lowered her reading glasses; she looked at her son; she looked at me; she looked back at her son and replied, “Oh, really? To whom?”
Lynda
Billings, Montana
It was the rehearsal dinner the night before my wedding. One of my bridesmaids, who is one of my dearest, oldest friends, had lost a considerable amount of weight before the wedding and we were all telling her how great she looked. Then my husband-to-be’s aunt sidled up next to her at the bar, where she and my maid of honor were ordering beers. The aunt looked over at my bridesmaid. “So, you pregnant or just had a big dinner?”
Nicolle
Longmont, Colorado
My in-laws had been divorced for over twenty years at the time when my husband and I decided to get married, so they had limited contact while my husband was growing up. The morning of our wedding