Awkward Family Photos - Mike Bender [3]
Anna
Bentonville, Arkansas
Mom and I went on vacation in Hawaii and when we checked into the room, I watched in amazement as she unpacked a blender from her suitcase. She planned on making her own smoothies because they’re so expensive at hotels and because, she said, the fruit is fresh in Hawaii. And the best part was that every time she blended one up, she would remind me how much she’d saved us. In the end, I believe the grand total came to $8.75.
SuChin
New York, New York
He’s wondering if they come with a gift receipt.
This mother and daughter vow to love, honor, and cherish driving each other crazy.
Sit on it, Dad.
Clearly, Mom and Dad’s love for each other is infectious …
We can always take comfort in knowing that on Mom and Dad’s watch, we’ll never be put in harm’s way.
hen we look back at pictures of our childhood, it’s obvious that being a kid was one extended period of awkwardness. We can be excused for our appearance in our first few years; however, once we hit the double digits, we had to share in some of the blame. After all, we parted our own feathered hair down the middle, sported those Velcro sneakers with zipper pockets, and proudly wore mesh shirts. And that was just the tween years, only a warm-up to the turbulent storm of teendom, when certain parts of our bodies grew while others lagged behind; our voices cracked; we started wearing a bra; and our faces erupted. We were forced to don awkward accessories: thick-rimmed glasses, braces, or—worst case scenario—headgear. We discovered the opposite sex, but for all the reasons listed above, the opposite sex didn’t discover us. It seemed like we were dealing with a potentially life-threatening crisis every day.
Luckily, we don’t have to rely on just our memories to help us recall all of these painful moments, because our parents were taking pictures every step of the way.
For anyone who doubts that an awkwardness gene exists, we’d like to present the following scientific evidence …
The great thing about kids is that they tell us exactly what they’re thinking.
Don’t let the snowman sweater fool you.
She needed to take a quick power nap before her nap.
Cute, cuddly, occasionally terrifying. For the kids, dolls are like members of the family, so AFP honors these tiny lifelike inanimates for making it all right to talk to ourselves.
While we all downplayed it, Picture Day was one of the most stressful dates on the school calendar. The resulting photo would, after all, be documented in the yearbook and carried around in Mom’s wallet, ready to be whipped out whenever anyone asked about the family. We dressed in what we (or our parents) considered our best outfits and waited in a painfully long line with our classmates. As we arrived at the front the photographer offered us a flimsy comb with which to fix our hair. We took our seat in front of the camera and chose a backdrop—distant planets, clusters of stars, multicolored lasers—making it unclear whether we were posing for a school photo or auditioning for a strange, low-budget science fiction movie. When the photographer told us to smile, we gave it our best shot and convinced ourselves that maybe this year we could pull it off.
Puberty’s going to be a breeze for this awkward tween.
This young man is already bulking up for next year’s colored pencil portrait.
This is me. All dressed up at my mother’s fortieth birthday—wrapped in balloons and looking like a child prostitute.
Paula
Galesburg, Illinois
I was born in Spain and we had a bidet in the bathroom. My mom caught me using it as a water fountain and allowed me to continue (don’t worry, they never used it).
Steven
Brevard County, Florida
This is me in my eighth-grade band picture. Note the American Thunder T-shirt, tight white Levi’s, and the goggles … I mean, glasses. Not to mention the trombone. Standing at half-court.
Mary
Dora, Alabama
This is me in grade three. When I was