Bachelor Unleashed - Brenda Jackson [49]
Farrah’s pulse began beating wildly, anxiously, and that cloak of protectiveness she used as a shield immediately went into place. There were lots of reasons why they couldn’t continue what they once had. And not imposing limitations was simply out of the question.
Although she would never admit she had developed a weakness for him, the truth of the matter was that on more than one occasion she had lost control and lowered her guard, which was totally unacceptable behavior. When she was with Xavier she had a tendency to let loose, getting buck wild and crazy. Not just in the bedroom—that she could handle. But with her heart. Only with him did she care about the here and now and not worry about the outcome.
She lifted her chin. “There is a reason,” she said, knowing what she was about to say was an absolute lie. “Have you ever considered that the only reason I don’t want to take up where we left off in an affair, Xavier, is because I just don’t want to be romantically involved with you any longer?”
Darn. Instead of frowning, he was smiling, which meant he hadn’t believed a word she’d just said. Hadn’t taken her seriously. She watched as he crossed his arms over his chest and braced his legs apart in a ready-for-combat stance. She hated thinking it, but his standing that way and looking at her with that “I know better” smirk on his face sent a rush of adrenaline up her spine.
“You expect me to believe that, Farrah? The same woman who I took on the backseat of a private car last night while cruising on a barge on an icy cold night down the Hudson.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Why can’t I convince you it was nothing but sex?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, but here’s your chance. Convince me. Prove you’re not afraid of letting your emotions get in the way of an affair with me, and that your mind is not getting confused with the L-word. Prove to me, Farrah, that for us it’s only about sex, which is the only thing we want anyway, and that we don’t have to worry about anything else to the point that we establish limitations.”
Her mind was spinning in confusion, and she wondered if he’d caused that to happen deliberately. All she knew at that moment was that she had a point to prove to him, several in fact. First, she was capable of keeping her emotions under wraps. Second, she was not still carrying a torch for Dustin. And last but not least, she was not afraid of falling in love with Xavier.
“Fine,” she threw out heatedly. “You think you’ve got everything figured out, but I’m going to prove you wrong, Xavier. I’m going to give you your affair without limitations and then you’re going to see just how wrong you are about everything.”
Xavier couldn’t ignore the burst of happiness that tore through him at that moment, and he had to fight hard to keep a smile off his lips. With some outright manipulation, which he wasn’t all that thrilled about, he had moved Farrah into the spot where he wanted her for now.
She had agreed to an affair without limitations, and he doubted that she fully understood exactly what that meant, but she would find out soon enough. Although they would continue to make love just as before, they would not be spending one hundred percent of the time between the sheets. He would take her out on dates, to parties—there were always a number of them to attend this time of year—and she would get to spend time with him around people who meant a lot to him. They were family and friends who would come to love her as much as he did.
“Good, we’re on the same page now,” he heard himself saying as he crossed the room to her, needing to feel her in his arms, although he could tell she was still somewhat tiffed with him.
“Fine,” she said, when he slid his arm around her waist and brought her body closer to his. She might not be happy with him now, but the moment he pulled her