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By Root 375 0

single day that took about five hours in total. Wardrobe, hair and makeup, rehearsals, press, stretching, breaks, fueling up on carbs, and hydration—it’s exhausting. Plus, we were moving into a house, choosing paint, decorating, dealing with paperwork—I was a mess. And I was also writing this book, shooting my show Kendra, making appearances, and traveling, all while being a full-time mom and wife, so I had a lot going on. You’d think the first thing I’d cut from my jam-packed schedule would be getting intimate with my husband, but it’s actually a priority (and a stress reliever) that helps me handle all the other craziness that’s going on.

All day long it’s running around appeasing producers and show runners and media and networks and fans, and shopping for the family, and taking care of life. But sex—that’s me time. It’s not like something I have to do; it’s something I want to do and it’s a pleasure.

For a few months while we were finalizing the paperwork and getting the new house ready, we were living in a small apartment in Studio City, about a thousand square feet. It was a normal apartment in a normal apartment complex, meaning if we got too loud the neighbors would hear us. But it was a place we called home, along with my two dogs, Martini and Rascal, and Hank Jr.—who, technically a toddler now, was at that run-around-and-explore stage—and a variety of other people coming in and out of our home at all hours of the day. So the idea of Hank and I getting busy with Barry White playing on the stereo and cinnamon-scented candles burning with rose petals gently sprinkled on the floor was the furthest thing from our reality. We had to find other ways to be intimate and keep that connection with each other.

Hank and I have a great sexual relationship and we talk about sex just like we talk about anything else you could communicate about. We don’t shy away from it. When we get little ten-minute breaks during our busy schedules, we call and get each other all worked up. If I’m driving home from practice, I’ll call him and tease him a little. I just plant the idea in his head with a little flirty comment. We don’t have to do it every day, but we talk about it. Of course it’s not all we talk about; we certainly discuss a million other things, like bills, Hank Jr., work, family, and life. But those quick phone calls and flirty messages help to keep the heat going, even if we have to wait three days before we get the chance to have sex.

So when I get home at nine P.M. after a full day and I come in the door dead exhausted, I take comfort in the idea that I am home with the man I love and I’m going to turn off the world outside, kiss my husband, and just say, “Let’s do it.” And is he going to turn that down? No. He’s a man.

Even though it’s sometimes quick and not completely spontaneous, we have great sex. In fact, while I was on Dancing with the Stars, the sex was better than ever. I’m flexible, I’m strong, I’m confident, and Hank is noticing it. All day long I was stretching, getting blood flowing, and working my body so it was just itching to have sex. I once Tweeted, “Sooo Louis [my DWTS partner], thanks for warming me up for my hubby tonight.” I had spent three hours grinding on the dance floor with another man. All I wanted to do when I got home was have great sex with my husband, Hank. So I did.

You don’t always have to be spontaneous—sometimes we are just working toward having sex in forty-eight hours’ time, not necessarily right now. When you are married to someone, you see that person more than anyone else. You’re always there, always together, always in contact. But Hank and I never let that make our sex life mundane. We act as if we are still dating. And going out to dinner or spending time together isn’t always a guarantee we’re going to have sex! I’m not a “sure thing”! It has to feel right.

We still play it the same way as when we were dating. The rock on the finger and the piece of paper don’t change who we are. Hank still holds the door for me, lets me order first, knows what wine I like, and is an all-out