Being Kendra_ Cribs, Cocktails, and Getting My Sexy Back - Kendra Wilkinson [51]
That guy who released the sex tape tried to make me feel guilty. But why should I feel guilty about having sex? Sex is a great thing; I love sex and we are made to have sex. Some people love to shop, some people love to eat, I love to have sex. Sex is a way to feel alive, and when you have it, you know you are living and you are feeling good. Think about the first moments after sex with someone you love—doesn’t it feel great? I like having that feeling. Materialistic stuff makes you feel good when you put it on and you look good, but you need to also find something that makes you physically feel good, something that will make you feel good on the inside, and what feels good on the inside will show on the outside.
Chapter 11
Marriage Is My Day Job
Marriage is all about give and take. Hank and I are a team, and one person needs to step up when one of us is down. Such was the case for baby Hank’s first birthday party. It was a true test of our marriage and parenting skills. We were in Minnesota at the time, but I had to go back to L.A. for business a few days before, so I left the actual planning in Hank’s hands. I’d be back just in time for the party.
Hank did a great job. He booked a private party room at the Mall of America, ordered a special cake, and put together all of these Dora the Explorer and Diego decorations. He went all out. But, of course, the day of the birthday we looked out the window and it’s another big blizzard, like one of the biggest they’d seen in decades. The snow was coming down hard and the roads were completely covered. Hank had put his heart and soul into planning this party and said, “Let’s go! Let’s do this!” I had different thoughts in my head, but I knew how hard Hank had worked on the party, so I went along for the ride. It wasn’t my place to throw in the towel just yet. I was being a good wife, even if as a mom I wanted to call it a day.
My mom was there, as were my brother and Hank’s parents and brother. We were all ready to celebrate baby Hank’s first birthday. We all left our apartment at the same time, piled in our car, and drove off. That’s when I said to Hank, “We can’t see as far as we can piss!” I kept saying that and the whole family was cracking up. But Hank was really mad; it was a very touchy situation, because deep down he knew the odds weren’t good we were going to actually get to the party. Everywhere we looked, cars were stuck in ditches or turning around and heading home. I knew in my heart we should have stayed home. It was risky and super dangerous, but Hank was so passionate about getting there. He kept saying, “We gotta try!” Hank’s pride was taking over, and I knew I couldn’t say anything else negative. But after ten minutes in the car I felt a skid. I opened my mouth and said, “Nope.” We slid again and I opened up my mouth and said, “Babe, let’s not go. This isn’t right.” Then what I thought would happen happened. Hank yelled out, “No! We are going.” But I said no again. It was an argument, and I needed to let him see that harming us and getting us stuck in a ditch would be much worse than a canceled birthday party. I insisted we needed to turn around. I wasn’t being a girl who was scared, I was being a parent. I begged him and said, “Please don’t let your pride take over. Your pride will get us killed. Think about the consequences. We could get stuck in a ditch and end up being stuck in this car for hours.” So Hank was really sad, and I swear I saw a little tear drop down his face, but he finally turned around.
We ended up in the little vacant party room in our apartment complex. It was kind of sad: just one single window, a pool table, and a fireplace that we lit. We put presents all around and tried to