Belly Laughs_ The Naked Truth About Pregnancy and Childbirth - Jenny McCarthy [34]
What happened next is kind of a blur. I was prepped and wheeled to an operating room. On the way there, I was partly unconscious. Not from any drugs, just pure exhaustion. I could hear the people talking around me as they started to wheel me down the hall faster. I heard a nurse say that the baby’s heart rate was dropping. I was so out of it, I couldn’t even mutter an “oh no.” They literally threw me on the table, slapped some disinfectant on, and began. My husband was at my side, and I could see the terror in his face as we heard the nurse shouting out that the baby’s heart rate had dropped in half. Thirty seconds later they pulled the baby out and unwound the cord that was wrapped around his neck. I lay there strapped to the table, paralyzed from the neck down. Crucified.
They whisked the baby off to the side of the room in a panic. I’ve come to find out that with C-sections, they usually show you your baby over the curtain and tell you the sex. They didn’t do that for me, and I guessed that something was wrong. Tears were streaming down my face. I looked at my husband and asked him what was wrong. He looked just as panicked as I did and said, “I don’t know, honey.”
A nurse moved out of the way, and I saw my baby lying on a table, blue and not moving. People were all around, giving him oxygen, slapping him, saying, “Come on, little man, breathe.” That’s when I stopped breathing. It’s cliché because it’s so true: The world went into slow motion as a minute went by with no baby cries. My husband was pale as a sheet. If it weren’t really happening to me, I’d have thought this was a bad TV movie.
All of a sudden I heard a “waa waa.” He was crying! I wanted to jump up and down and scream, but I was still tied to the table. My husband walked over to the baby and ran back to me to tell me how cute he was. Then he went back to the baby to introduce himself. On my side of the room, nerves, medication, and exhaustion set in, and I began vomiting all over the place. Another lovely sight. But I didn’t care what the hell happened to me as long as my baby was okay.
Once they had our baby all cleaned up and ready for his closeup, my husband walked over to me and showed me my little boy wrapped like a burrito. I cried and cried. They unstrapped my hand so I could touch his little cheek and give him a peck. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I said, “Look at him, honey; he blinks.” To see the baby blink and look at you makes it so much more real than kicks in your belly. Chills came over my body as I started to feel a new chamber in my heart growing. My husband’s face glowed like he had seen the gates of heaven open, and we stared in awe at the most beautiful thing we had ever seen.
Life was good. Life was going to be great. I had plans for this boy. I would fill him with so much love that he’d be able to conquer the world. Watching my husband glow with love also took my breath away. I don’t think he had enough room in his body to contain the amount of love he was feeling at that point. Our baby was alive and well, and we adored him.
Having a child is life-changing and so incredibly beautiful. You are about to experience the best of what life has to offer . . . the ability to GIVE life . . . and frankly, I’m jealous of the intensity and joy you will be feeling. I had a rough year, but as I said at the start, I would do it all over again in a second, and maybe I will . . .
Welcome to the best job you will ever have: mommyhood.
Let Me Repeat
(Husband No-No’s)
On the following page is a list of advice for your husband. Actually, it’s a short list of things he’d be well-advised to take to heart. Scratch that. These are his marching orders! Ever thoughtful of your needs, I put these specifics on the following pages so you can rip them out and stick them on the refrigerator. Notice that this advice is also written to him as though it were from