Between Here and Forever - Elizabeth Scott [56]
Claire shrugs. “Okay.”
I sigh, because I know what her “okay” means. “Okay what?”
“Nothing. Just—well, people who can have anyone still have to pick someone. And why can’t that someone be you?”
I gesture at myself. “You think there’s going to be a run on short, scrawny girls?”
“I’m no Tess either,” Claire says, “but once someone loved me.”
“Yeah, but you and Rick didn’t work out.”
She blinks, then nods and says, “But you don’t know it won’t work out with Eli. And stop trying to change the subject. Tell me more about today.”
So I tell her a little bit about going to Saint Andrew’s, skimming over the cafeteria stuff, which I feel belongs to Eli, is his story to tell if he chooses.
And Eli chose to share his story with me.
“Okay, you’re smiling, but you’ve stopped talking,” Claire says. “So you left the school and—wait, I know. You went to his house, right?”
“Yes,” I say, and when she makes a go-on motion I shake my head at her. “Nothing happened.”
“Oh, you lie. I can tell from the way you’re—holy shit, you’re blushing!”
“Shut up,” I mutter, and she laughs, saying, “So, you’re at his house and then …”
“I was at his house for a while and then I left. That’s it.”
“Abby …”
“Really, that’s all, I swear,” I say. “I mean, we almost sort of kissed …”
Claire throws both arms up in a victory sign until I elbow her and say, “Quit it. It’s not a big deal.”
“The fact that it took me this long to get you to tell me that means it’s a huge deal. And I meant what I said before, you know. You deserve to be happy.”
I want to believe her. I desperately want to believe her—in fact, I want to beg her to tell me again—so I change the subject. “Did you see my parents today?”
“No, they weren’t there when I left. Why? Do you think they’ll find out you weren’t at the hospital? Would they—do they make you see Tess every day?”
“No,” I say. “Nothing like that. It’s just … I hope they’re okay. Yesterday Beth dropped all of Tess’s stuff off, just drove up with it in boxes and then left. She says Tess said she was going to move out, and she’s living with someone else now, but how hard is it to hold on to your roommate’s things? Especially when it’s someone you’ve lived with for …” I trail off, something about everything I’ve just said making my head spin.
“Well, maybe her dorm room is small?”
“They had an apartment,” I say absently. “Tess said she and Beth wanted more space, so they moved off campus together after their freshman year.”
And that’s when it hits me. What Beth was trying to say about why she and Tess had decided to stop living together when I saw her in the hospital. How I saw Beth touching Tess’s hair, and the look on her face when she did.
The way she looked at Tess when she thought there was no one around to see. The sadness.
The love.
Beth and Tess weren’t roommates. Beth and Tess were living together. I think of all the times Tess came home, and how Beth was almost always with her. I think of all the pictures Tess had, all those guys. And always, in every single picture, Beth was there holding the camera. Beth, who Tess was really looking at.
Beth and Tess were together.
“Holy shit,” I breathe.
“What?” Claire says, and I tell her. Her eyes go wide, but I can’t quite read the expression in them.
“Did you know?” I ask, but I don’t get to hear her answer because the ferry docks and we all have to go back to our cars. Or, in my case, bike.
I think Claire will wait for me when I get off the ferry, drive me home so we can talk more about what I’ve just realized, but she doesn’t.
I’m not that surprised, though. If I’m shocked, she must be … I can’t even imagine what she must feel. Tess, with her endless string of boyfriends, goes off to college and falls for her roommate. Her girl roommate.
I ride home, dazed, and just sit in the living room, thinking. When Mom and Dad get home, I look at them. I wonder if