Black Milk - Elif Shafak [98]
As I researched I understood that it was not only “unhappy” or “unfulfilled” women who suffered from postpartum depression. New mothers of every class, status, religion and temperament were susceptible to it. There were no golden formulas to explain each and every case. Yet, there were a number of causes that triggered the process, such as previous experience with depression, physical health issues during pregnancy, ongoing marital, financial or social problems, lack of cooperation of close relatives and friends, a sudden change in surroundings and so on.
It is not easy to detect the symptoms for postpartum depression, as Lord Poton is highly skillful in reinventing himself. But the following are good signs: lack of energy, excessive sensitivity and irritability, feeling guilty or inadequate, inability to focus, forgetfulness, a fear of hurting yourself or the baby, irregular sleep patterns, lack of appetite, lack of sexual drive, antisocial behavior (closeting yourself in the house, avoiding people and even close friends), lack of interest in physical appearance, an ongoing indifference toward the rest of the world . . .
The truth is, as women of flesh and bones, as the granddaughters of Eve, we all experience ups and downs every now and then, particularly at a time as challenging and stressful as the arrival of a new baby. So, more than the symptoms per se, it is how strongly and persistently we suffer from them that matters.
Dissatisfied with the information I gathered, I decided to prepare my own pop quiz for new mothers.
Lord Poton and You
HOW LIKELY WILL YOU TWO MEET?
How did you feel after you checked out of the hospital and came back home?
a. Like a baby bounced out of his bath. I wish we had stayed a bit longer at the hospital. The nurses were cool and comforting, and were constantly checking on us. When we came home I realized I didn’t even know how to hold the baby properly.
b. I felt like a fish out of water, but figured that was normal. Isn’t it?
c. I felt terrific, ready for a new beginning! Good thing I had made the baby’s room ready. Pink and lavender with unicorn murals. I painted every unicorn myself.
What is your clearest memory of the day of delivery?
a. The pain! And the stress I felt as we entered the operating room. How can I wipe off my mind the sight of masked doctors and nurses?
b. Oh, the moment I held the baby in my arms. It was an incredible feeling. I cried and cried. I still cry when I think about it.
c. The flowers and chocolates sent by our friends and relatives! They were fabulous and those teddy bears were so cute!
Think about how you’ve been eating lately.
a. I feed the baby but I neglect myself. I don’t have much of an appetite anyway.
b. I have been eating regularly, though now that I think about it, I’m not sure how regularly.
c. My appetite is so huge I can eat three breakfasts a day. Don’t blame me! Blame Rosita, our cook. Oh, those biscochitos! How am I going to shed the extra pounds?
Think about how you’ve been sleeping lately.
a. What sleep! Listening to make sure the baby is breathing properly, I stay awake all night, every night.
b. I sleep fine, I guess. Well, some nights I sleep better than others.
c. I’m like Sleeping Beauty. When the baby cries my husband gets up to check. Isn’t he adorable?
Do you see any differences in yourself since the birth?
a. Better to ask me, “What has stayed the same?” My life has changed, I have changed, everything has changed.
b. I am not my usual self but I’m not sure in what way exactly.
c. Well, I’m fatter than I was before the pregnancy, if that’s what you are trying to get at. But I’m much thinner than I was during the pregnancy!