Black Milk - Elif Shafak [99]
A romantic movie that you’ve watched before is showing on TV. When it gets to a heartbreaking scene, how do you feel?
a. Heartbroken, of course. I cry at pretty much everything these days.
b. Since I’ve seen the movie before it won’t affect me that much, I guess. But you never know.
c. Why on earth would I sit and watch a movie I’ve seen before when there are plenty of new movies out there?
After giving birth how did you feel toward your husband?
a. I had to go through all the pain, and the guy became a dad, just like that. And then he goes and buys her overalls that have “Daddy’s Girl!” written all over. I’m the one who changes diapers, but the baby still gets to be “Daddy’s girl.” I should have been born a man!
b. I think I feel some distance toward him, but I don’t know why.
c. He took me out the other night. We were like high school sweethearts. We even popped a bottle of champagne.
When your doctor comes to mind, how do you feel?
a. Resentment! I’m mad at him. He could have done an epidural.
b. I wonder what it feels like to bring so many babies into the world and see so many women going through the miracle of birth. Must be nice, right? . . . Right?
c. My doctor is the sweetest guy. So the other day I asked him, “Will I be able to wear a bikini this summer?” He said, “Oh, sure, and you will make a few heads turn!” Isn’t he charming?
Do you feel energetic during the day?
a. I don’t feel like doing much. What’s the point anyway?
b. Sometimes my knees feel like rubber. They turn into jelly for a moment and then the feeling passes.
c. Oh, and how! I exercise like crazy. I even hired a fitness trainer. He is Italian!
Who did you argue with last?
a. Oh, just about everyone: my mother, who so favors my husband; my neighbor, who was being testy at a ridiculously early hour; my sisters, who have taken to asking stupid questions over the phone; my mother-in-law, who is trying to control my life; and my husband, who is always on her side.
b. I don’t argue with people. I’m always accommodating. Always.
c. I don’t fight, honey. I make love.
When was the last time you got together with your close friends?
a. Two months ago? Maybe more? I am not in the mood to socialize these days.
b. Friends and family come to visit, bless them. I have no control over who is coming, who is going.
c. The other day the girls threw me a baby shower; we had so much fun. I had to go off my diet, of course. How could I resist those cupcakes?
How at peace are you with your body and sexuality?
a. My husband and I sleep in different rooms. I won’t be the least bit surprised if we soon start living in separate houses or even on separate continents.
b. We still sleep in the same bed, but I’d rather sleep with the baby. I don’t say that though. I wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings.
c. Oh, you mean hanky-panky? Oh, yeah, like bunny rabbits.
What do you think about this test?
a. A waste of time.
b. I don’t know, I didn’t fully concentrate on it.
c. It was fun. Not a problem!
The Evaluation Key
If your answers were overwhelmingly A: You’ve not only met Lord Poton but you may already consider him your best friend. Call your doctor immediately and get help.
If your answers were overwhelmingly B: Your self-esteem is not at its highest and you show signs of passive-aggressive behavior. Be on guard. Lord Poton may knock on your door at any moment.
If your answers were overwhelmingly C: You don’t have to ever worry. Depression to you is like Earth compared to Jupiter. In all likelihood, you will never cross paths with Lord Poton.
Writer-Mothers and Their Children
Alice Walker is one of the leading and most outspoken figures among contemporary American women writers. She has an international following and her work has been translated into more than twenty languages. The youngest of eight children, she was born in Georgia to a family of farmers. Her childhood was not a privileged one. Yet her mother was determined to give her children the same opportunities