Blood Noir - Laurell K. Hamilton [134]
Again, it was as if Jason read my mind. “We need more help.”
I cuddled in against his body, and he hugged me with arms and legs, and for once it wasn’t sexual in the least; it was more like two scared kids huddling in the dark when they knew the monster under the bed wasn’t just real, but was holding a grudge.
52
WE SAT THERE for a few minutes after the door closed. Jason was still wrapped around me, and I leaned back against him. He leaned his head against the side of my face. It was as if both of us let out a long breath we’d been holding. I should have felt worse that Richard had left, but after that momentary fear, I felt better—calmer, at least.
“Why do I feel calmer?” I said.
“Because I’m not afraid of getting my ass kicked by my Ulfric for being another wolf who’s metaphysically tied to his lupa. He could have taken it like you were cheating on him with me. He outweighs me by more than fifty pounds, Anita. Most of that’s muscle.”
I snuggled against him, stroking his bare legs where they were still wrapped around my waist. “Yeah, neither of us would win if it came to a fair fight with Richard.”
I felt him smile just by the movement of his lips against my temple. “You think like a guy, Anita. Richard would never fight you the way he would fight me. Enjoy that part of being a girl.”
I ran my hands over the surprising smoothness of his legs, and realized that there were tiny, fine hairs on his legs. So blond, so delicate, that you couldn’t really see them unless you touched them. I played my hands along those fine hairs, a gentle back-and-forth. I’d found that touching helped me think lately. Micah said it was the beast in me. Maybe, or maybe I would have always been like this if I’d let myself. It was a chicken/egg kind of question. I let it go, and just enjoyed that it helped me be calm.
“I’ve spent most of my career having to fight bad guys who didn’t give a shit that I was a girl, Jason. It changes how you look at things.”
“If you say so, but if Richard hurts you physically, it’s by accident. If he hurts me, it’s on purpose.”
“A lot of his anger was from me, literally. I think he’ll be a lot more reasonable now.”
Jason nuzzled his face against my hair. “If that was your anger, then I’m with Richard, you have amazing self-control.”
I laughed, an abrupt, not exactly happy sound. “I know people who would argue I have no self-control at all.”
“They’re just jealous,” he whispered.
Hadn’t I thought something like that earlier? I did not want or need another man tied to me metaphysically. I just seemed to keep collecting them. I didn’t mean to.
“Let’s get dressed,” he said, kissing the side of my face and beginning to untangle himself from me.
I laughed, and this time it was real. “You suggesting we get dressed? Usually, having someone be my animal to call makes the physical stuff more compelling, not less.” I turned in time to catch his grin, as he stood fastening the towel more securely around his waist.
“I promised my dad that we’d see him yesterday. I don’t know what excuse I can give him, but I want to see him.”
“You seem…” I didn’t know what word to use.
“I feel”—and he seemed to search for a word, too—“more solid.” He grinned down at me. “You are one of the most certain people I know; maybe that’s what I’m getting from you. Oh, God, me with actual ambition and goals. Too weird.”
“You have goals,” I said, kneeling.
He shook his head. “No, Anita, I float. I went to college because you’re supposed to. Once my folks wouldn’t let me major in drama, college didn’t really matter to me. Then I met Raina, and she showed me the kinkiest sex I’d ever imagined, and she made me a werewolf. I said yes, because she was beautiful and insatiable. Not because I wanted to be a werewolf. I worked at Guilty Pleasures because it pissed my family off and helped me have some money of my own. I didn’t say