Breaking Dawn - Stephenie Meyer [103]
I might think that-except that no ones imprinting on me, notwithstanding my impressive pedigree. You know, she added thoughtfully, if you werent around, Seth would probably have the best claim to being Alpha- through his blood, at least. Of course, no one would ever consider me
You really want to imprint, or be imprinted on, or whichever? I demanded. Whats wrong with going out and falling in love like a normal person, Leah? Imprinting is just another way of getting your choices taken away from you.
Sam, Jared, Paul, Quil they dont seem to mind.
None of them have a mind of their own.
You dont want to imprint?
Hell, no!
Thats just because youre already in love with her. That would go away, you know, if you imprinted. You wouldnt have to hurt over her anymore.
Do you want to forget the way you feel about Sam?
She deliberated for a moment. I think I do.
I sighed. She was in a healthier place than I was.
But back to my original point, Jacob. I understand why your blond vampire is so cold-in the figurative sense. Shes focused. Shes got her eyes on the prize, right? Because you always want the very most what you can never, ever have.
You would act like Rosalie? You would murder someone-because thats what shes doing, making sure no one interferes with Bellas death-you would do that to have a baby? Since when are you a breeder?
I just want the options I dont have, Jacob. Maybe, if there was nothing wrong with me, I would never give it a thought.
You would kill for that? I demanded, not letting her escape my question.
Thats not what shes doing. I think its more like shes living vicariously. And if Bella asked me to help her with this She paused, considering. Even though I dont think too much of her, Id probably do the same as the bloodsucker.
A loud snarl ripped through my teeth.
Because, if it was turned around, Id want Bella to do that for me. And so would Rosalie. Wed both do it her way.
Ugh! Youre as bad as they are!
Thats the funny thing about knowing you cant have something. It makes you desperate.
And thats my limit. Right there. This conversation is over.
Fine.
It wasnt enough that shed agreed to stop. I wanted a stronger termination than that.
I was only about a mile from where Id left my clothes, so I phased back to human and walked. I didnt think about our conversation. Not because there wasnt anything to think about, but because I couldnt stand it. I would not see it that way-but it was harder to keep from doing that when Leah had put the thoughts and emotions straight into my head.
Yeah, I wasnt running with her when this was finished. She could go be miserable in La Push. One little Alpha command before I left for good wasnt going to kill anybody.
It was real early when I got to the house. Bella was probably still asleep. I figured Id poke my head in, see what was going on, give em the green light to go hunting, and then find a patch of grass soft enough to sleep on while human. I wasnt phasing back until Leah was asleep.
But there was a lot of low mumbling going on inside the house, so maybe Bella wasnt sleeping. And then I heard the machinery sound from upstairs again-the X-ray? Great. It looked like day four on the countdown was starting off with a bang.
Alice opened the door for me before I could walk in.
She nodded. Hey, wolf.
Hey, shortie. Whats going on upstairs? The big room was empty-all the murmurs were on the second floor.
She shrugged her pointy little shoulders. Maybe another break. She tried to say the words casually, but I could see the flames in the very back of her eyes. Edward and I werent the only ones who were burning over this. Alice loved Bella, too.
Another rib? I asked hoarsely.
No. Pelvis this time.
Funny how it kept hitting me, like each new thing was a surprise. When was I going to stop being surprised? Each new disaster seemed kinda obvious in hindsight.
Alice was staring at my hands, watching them tremble.
Then we were listening to Rosalies voice upstairs.