Breaking Dawn - Stephenie Meyer [62]
She gasped then and clutched at her stomach. My fury vanished like a light switch being turned off.
Im fine, she panted. Its nothing.
But I didnt hear; her hands had pulled her sweatshirt to the side, and I stared, horrified, at the skin it exposed. Her stomach looked like it was stained with big splotches of purple-black ink.
She saw my stare, and she yanked the fabric back in place.
Hes strong, thats all, she said defensively.
The ink spots were bruises.
I almost gagged, and I understood what hed said, about watching it hurt her. Suddenly, I felt a little crazy myself.
Bella, I said.
She heard the change in my voice. She looked up, still breathing heavy, her eyes confused.
Bella, dont do this.
Jake-
Listen to me. Dont get your back up yet. Okay? Just listen. What if ?
What if what?
What if this wasnt a one-shot deal? What if it wasnt all or nothing? What if you just listened to Carlisle like a good girl, and kept yourself alive?
I wont-
Im not done yet. So you stay alive. Then you can start over. This didnt work out. Try again.
She frowned. She raised one hand and touched the place where my eyebrows were mashing together. Her fingers smoothed my forehead for a moment while she tried to make sense of it.
I dont understand What do you mean, try again? You cant think Edward would let me ? And what difference would it make? Im sure any baby-
Yes, I snapped. Any kid of his would be the same.
Her tired face just got more confused. What?
But I couldnt say any more. There was no point. I would never be able to save her from herself. Id never been able to do that.
Then she blinked, and I could see she got it.
Oh. Ugh. Please, Jacob. You think I should kill my baby and replace it with some generic substitute? Artificial insemination? She was mad now. Why would I want to have some strangers baby? I suppose it just doesnt make a difference? Any baby will do?
I didnt mean that, I muttered. Not a stranger.
She leaned forward. Then what are you saying?
Nothing. Im saying nothing. Same as ever.
Where did that come from?
Forget it, Bella.
She frowned, suspicious. Did he tell you to say that?
I hesitated, surprised that shed made that leap so quick. No.
He did, didnt he?
No, really. He didnt say anything about artificial whatever.
Her face softened then, and she sank back against the pillows, looking exhausted. She stared off to the side when she spoke, not talking to me at all. He would do anything for me. And Im hurting him so much But what is he thinking? That I would trade this-her hand traced across her belly-for some strangers She mumbled the last part, and then her voice trailed off. Her eyes were wet.
You dont have to hurt him, I whispered. It burned like poison in my mouth to beg for him, but I knew this angle was probably my best bet for keeping her alive. Still a thousand-to- one odds. You could make him happy again, Bella. And I really think hes losing it. Honestly, I do.
She didnt seem to be listening; her hand made small circles on her battered stomach while she chewed on her lip. It was quiet for a long time. I wondered if the Cullens were very far away. Were they listening to my pathetic attempts to reason with her?
Not a stranger? she murmured to herself. I flinched. What exactly did Edward say to you? she asked in a low voice.
Nothing. He just thought you might listen to me.
Not that. About trying again.
Her eyes locked on mine, and I could see that Id already given too much away.
Nothing.
Her mouth fell open a little. Wow.
It was silent for a few heartbeats. I looked down at my feet again, unable to meet her stare.
He really would do anything, wouldnt he? she whispered.
I told you he was going crazy. Literally, Bells.
Im surprised you didnt tell on him right away. Get him in trouble.
When I looked up, she was grinning.
Thought about it. I tried to grin back, but I could feel the smile mangle on my face.
She knew what I was offering, and she wasnt going to think twice about it. Id known that she wouldnt. But it still stung.
There isnt much you wouldnt do for me, either,