Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [11]
Another way that women judge men is by what that 2 percent out there are doing. They are trying to get ready for it, as illustrated in our worst-case scenario theory, so they are equipped to deal with bad behavior, should the time come.
You and I don’t even know each other, but the women in my circle are judging me based on what you are doing and vice versa. We are a man team and we need to wise up and help and support one another. This means that we’re always representing our gender and creating an image of what can be expected of us.
If you think I’m exaggerating, think about all the famous men out there who have their dirty laundry aired in public: scandalous affairs, secretive bigamy, physical abuse, cheating and stealing from employers, being overprotective and possessive of women as if they’re property, and even drunken bar brawls. Have you ever felt the repercussions of this while you’re just going about your business, having committed none of these acts? Have you noticed that people sometimes tend to view others differently, or more suspiciously, after these stories are broadcast in the news?
A few years ago a well-known politician was found guilty of having an affair, not just with one woman, but with two—at the same time. Yes, I’m talking about a menage-a-big trouble. Of course, both women happened to be drop-dead gorgeous, which got my own very beautiful wife’s mind racing even more. As we lay stretched on the bed, relaxing, watching this scandal unfold on the news, she turns to me and asks (I’m pretty sure you know what’s coming), “Honey? You wouldn’t ever have an affair, would you?” That question seems fair to me and it wouldn’t, have made me nervous because I honestly wouldn’t and almost more importantly, I had my answer ready. I was all primed with my answer: “Of course not, honey. You’re all I ever need.”
But that’s not what she asked. What she wanted to know was, “Honey, you wouldn’t ever want to be with two women at once like that, would you?” Gulp. What I’d want and what I’d actually do are two very different things for me, being a reasonable married guy, dedicated to his wife, but after all, still very testosterone inspired. I sure wouldn’t do it, but asking if I wanted to do it made me feel guilty and I hadn’t even done anything! I answered emphatically, “No, honey. You are all I will ever need”; perhaps after pausing for one second longer than I should have, just for the shock of the question. Would I want to be with two leggy, gorgeous, insatiable nymphomaniacs at the same time? I was still thinking about that when she playfully smacked me saying, “You lie! Of course you would! Every man wants that. Look how successful that guy is and he did it. So you probably want the same. Men!”
All of us are being assessed, judged, categorized, stereotyped, and generalized from the moment we step out of our homes to when we go to bed at night (and as you’ve seen, it sometimes doesn’t stop there). This is life. What the few do, the many pay for.
It was the last part of this accusation that annoyed me. I wouldn’t cheat, but simply had male thoughts and desires. Because of this I was now in the same category as this crass, not-too-smart politician. I was guilty by association. This is the quintessential example of how the exception becomes the perception.
We men must individually perform better to help the Man Team. Think about taking one for the team the next time you feel the urge to do something that even feels a little bit like something you might get into trouble for. Let’s keep in mind that our individual conduct around women affects the whole of us, and let “Take one for the team” be our new mantra with enhanced meaning.
She Says. . .
The Best Place to Pick Up Women
One afternoon I was having a beer with some male buddies and the conversation meandered around to that old favorite topic: where to meet people that you’d like to date. They all agreed on preferences for pickup