Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [12]
The guys recounted many networking events at which they witnessed around two of every 50 women dressed as if they’d been getting ready to go out clubbing and accidentally wound up here instead. All men at the event are visibly distracted by this, some gawking and others sneaking glances discreetly. Every man is watching, and most are pretending they are not. The remaining 48 women in the room, though dressed appropriately for the event, are not getting the attention they came to the event for—business.
Ironically, the two racy dressers will complain about the men staring at them, not taking them seriously, and hitting on them. Yes, these are often the same women who post revealing photos of themselves on their social networking sites, creating sexy profiles, not business profiles. Yes, they are social networking after all, but there are a couple of reasons this doesn’t help women. A lot of people mix business and pleasure and inevitably have a large draw of both professional and personal “friends” on sites like Facebook. I’m used to seeing women make the mistake of posting their cleavage-revealing photos in mixed company on Facebook, but now those inappropriate photos are showing up on Linkedln, a site used solely for business networking. Ugh!
These same women want me to recommend them for jobs when they are out there showcasing their “assets,” much to my discomfort. Though they may be perfectly qualified for the job in question, those photos damage their credibility, so I’m backed into a corner.
My co-authors are very uneasy about this. If they connect with this kind of profile in any way, the next thing that happens is a guilty-by-association problem. Sometimes business connections are made via Linkedln or Facebook that seem pretty smart. Then the person changes their photo to something less than savory or writes something a little too racy in your blog’s discussion forum, and you’ve got a problem like this: Someone may be perusing Ivan’s or Frank’s profile and see that they are connected with Ms. Lowcut-Leopard-Sweater-Hot-Pink-Lipstick and bam! They appear as lacking in judgment as she does, thereby putting their whole reputation into question.
This is exactly why my male friends think picking up women at networking events is effective. All three of us worry about the message it sends when we are linked to cleavage-revealing connections.
Are People Confused About the Purpose of Networking Events?
If I sent out invitations for my 5-year-old son’s birthday, detailed with information promising a clown, games, and goodie bags, wouldn’t it be clear exactly what kind of event you would be attending? Imagine if my sister were to bring her socially inept boyfriend, Lee (the names have been changed to protect the innocent) to the party, and Lee decides he’s going to bring his famous weight-loss products and try to hook in some of the mothers as new customers. He starts setting up a table to show off his merchandise and is attracting stares of disbelief, but then some of the mothers get curious and, though I am in obvious irritation, start asking him about his products. Soon, a gaggle of women are clucking their tongues over what the products promise and getting out their purses, while the children play unsupervised.
How would you feel if this happened? Maybe a little betrayed? If I really did have a wonderfully planned birthday party for my kid and some moron decided to commandeer the event to his advantage, I would view that as a siege, and I’d expect my friends to “do battle with me.” I am a very loyal person. My fantasy for this situation would be that my friends would find this unacceptable and say things like “I’m going to tell him that he can’t do that. You go tend to the kids. Don’t worry, we’ll handle this.