Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [38]
Another reason, in case you forgot, is that a relationship is a two-way street. That means that you should care about the other person and they should know by your actions that you do. I don’t mean you should care at the level of taking a bullet for them. I’m just suggesting that you try to get to know them by asking questions and taking an interest in their lives. Women want to know that they’re more than just a transaction to you. This respondent has it figured out:
Networking with men is different than with women. With men I am short and sweet in my communications. With women I get more into asking lots of questions and finding out about them and their families.
TIP
Make it your business to genuinely care about other people, and you’ll become an asset to them, which gets you ahead in the credibility phase. Credibility IS your sale.
This influences your credibility with women. If you wonder why they need more than your verbal professional bio, you’re not looking at it from their perspective. Much like in marketing and sales, the kind of person you present yourself as and how you treat your client often holds more water than the product you’re selling. If they think of you as a pushy, insincere jerk, or someone who’s not concerned about what’s good for them, you can forget about the sale. The same thinking holds true here. Credibility IS the sale.
The bottom line is that if you focus on what women want and give it to them, they’ll love you forever. It’s pretty simple. But to do this, you need to care about understanding them and the way they think. Ah, such mysterious and wonderful creatures, women.
Think about how happy your significant other would be if you helped her with everything that made her life easier, before she asked you to. For her, it would feel like a wonderful fantasy in which you had the ability to read her mind and give her what she wanted. She’d never have to ask you to do anything again. Imagine never having to say, “How was I supposed to know you wanted me to do that? You never asked me!” Imagine never again having to hear her disappointed response, “I shouldn’t have to ask. You should just know!”
Which Way Is Best, Relationships First or Business First?
This respondent’s comment really sums up some of our core networking differences:
Men seem to be more hesitant to build deep relationships and women tend to focus too much on everything but business.
It’s no amazing revelation to say that the first priority for women is relationships, and for men, getting business. DNA evidence and the roles men still play in our society support that fact. Men have been the hunters, protectors, and providers of our clans since the beginning of time. This is not to say female breadwinners are not increasing in number every day as the sole supporters of their families, because they are. But let’s go back to who we are at a primal level.
As the provider, I feel it is my responsibility to bring home the bacon, steak, buffalo—or squirrel, if it has been a very bad day. When I’m bringing that catch home, I’m not trying to build a forever relationship with that meal that I’m hunting. I need to catch it, prepare it for my family, and get it home, just like the sales and deals I go after in today’s world.
Unfortunately, we men approach everyone in our networks as if they were our next meal to be slain, because we see the processes the same. Today we have to learn to be more relational and less transactional and plant seeds, like women do, that will provide us with continued business over and over as the years go by.
Most men in business who are involved in sales are very aware of the importance of relationships. But the relationships we instinctively prioritize are the transaction-related ones. My goal is not to create best friends from my business networks. It is to develop relationships