Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [60]
He Says...
Lack of Safety at Networking Events
The survey respondents’ comments below reveal yet another obstacle to networking: safety. Opposing motives and communication barriers between the genders create safety issues, and this time we really are talking about SEX!
I am intimidated by men at networking events. / also do not want them to think I’m approaching them for inappropriate reasons.
Perhaps the hardest thing about networking from a woman’s point of view is that in many cases men assume that women who talk to them are interested in going to bed with them!
As a woman, I think there is a fine line when networking with some men. They often think that you’re interested in them other than on a business level and you have to cautiously balance levels of openness and friendliness with a high level of knowledge and professionalism to convince them you are capable.
The only problem I have networking with the opposite sex is being hit on. This has happened to me on more occasions than I would like to remember. Due to some men’s seemingly uncontrollable behavior, it has affected how I approach networking with men in general. Men, when networking, please remember that we are intelligent human beings. Don’t degrade yourself and us by making it sexual. You’ll lose the sale every time!
When attending more casual contact networking events, I sometimes get “creepy” vibes from some men. I get the feeling they are there for more than business networking.
These are only a few of many comments, but do I need to go on? It’s hard to believe, but this kind of comment was the most common type we received. Guys, is this really necessary? Are you really that desperate? Talk about building a reputation! If this is how you’re acting, you certainly are building a reputation, and trust me, it’s not helping you, and I doubt it’s the kind of reputation you want. This is why women are scared to go to evening networking events. I can’t even tell you how embarrassing this is to me as a man. I can’t think of a better example of the exception becoming the perception. It hurts all of us.
I am sure you can guess that very few men felt uncomfortable attending networking events, no matter what time of day. The funny part is that women who said they felt unsafe were fearful of the men in the networking events and not the ones that may be lurking outside in the parking lot. Women were afraid of unprofessional and inappropriate behavior from men; in other words: being hit on, approached, talked to, or touched in a way that suggested or blatantly stated more than friendship was desired. Once again, to all women out there, on behalf of men everywhere, I apologize.
Men, are you kidding me? I mean, seriously! Do you realize you’re acting like a college frat boy? Let me refer you back to the VCP principle. Do you think this builds your credibility? Business functions are for business, not for going after the new, hot chick. Okay, I know that not all of you do this, but remember that the exception creates the perception.
She Says...
We Are Vulnerable
There are multiple things that might make a woman feel uncomfortable networking in the evening, especially if she is going to the event alone. From car problems and muggings to any other problems that might put her at risk, women just feel more vulnerable when they’re out at night alone. Are those fears realistic or just an exaggeration of the unknown? The nightly news and crime TV shows compound this fear by using the repetitive theme of women getting slain within all kinds of interchanging themes, when they are alone, and usually at night. If one woman is mugged or abducted in the area, all women will feel that sense of fear and be reminded of how vulnerable they are.
Men believe they can take care of themselves, and walking down a dimly lit street