Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [61]
Behavior changes at evening business networking events where the attitude is more relaxed and free-spirited, unlike the brighter, straight-edged tone at breakfast and lunch meetings. Men and women alike become more relaxed by having a few drinks in the evening. Unfortunately, some men and women drink more than they should and get a little too relaxed. Once too much booze has been consumed, people say and do things that are completely inappropriate, from making off-color comments all the way to inappropriate touching. Here are some examples of booze and business going sour in the eyes of our survey respondents:
At many evening network meetings, there are cocktails involved and almost always one person, usually a male, who indulges a bit too much. Once that happens the networking turns into flirting. I’ve seen it devolve into downright “hitting on” female participants. I imagine that this is intimidating or irritating to some of them. On more than one occasion I’ve been embarrassed by that behavior if I’m in the conversation circle it happens in.
When I first began my business, I joined the local chamber of commerce. Young, female, single, and naive, I frequently found myself in uncomfortable situations with men.
I used to network with a lot of males during happy hours and dinners. However, 60 percent of the time I got the impression that it was about to turn into them hitting on me or taking it to an unprofessional level.
One of the biggest problems with the flirting confrontation is that many women just don’t know what to do about it. They wind up just walking away because they don’t want to cause trouble. Sometimes they even convince themselves that they just misinterpreted the bad behavior. I never cease to be amazed by the things that happen at networking events where there is free or cheap alcohol being served.
Do some guys look forward to these events because they intend to hit on women? I’ve certainly heard this more than once. Here are more comments from our survey that may make you wonder:
As a young woman I find the networking scene to be dominated by men of a certain age who enjoy a drink. This environment makes it hard to be taken seriously in. Whilst there is nothing wrong with this perse, Ioften also have men making inappropriate sexual advances, comments, and even make-believe business opportunities so that they can extend our conversations.
I have been in networking situations with men that resulted in uncomfortable banter generated from the other male participants in our conversation circle. They know I’m married with a child! What is up with that?
Come on, guys, networking events are not dating scenes. If you want to pick up women, join a dating network. If you’re at a business event, then respectfully keep it professional. Do yourself a favor by showing genuine interest and respect. If the woman you are talking to is interested beyond that, you can get to know her over time, but fabricating fake business agendas and hitting on her will just ruin your credibility and generate negative word-of-mouth. It also creates the perception that men hit on women all the time; another exception that creates a perception.
Here are some more quotes on that experience:
As a naive businesswoman I wasted a lot of time talking to men who PRETENDED to be seriously interested in my business and developing a professional business relationship. They would show their true intentions (sex) by the end of the event or at a lunch appointment. It took a long time for me to learn how to separate the serious male professional from the man on the make.
I notice that men tend to flirt more, especially if the female is young, attractive, and I hate to say this... blonde. That’s been my observation. I also notice that men give women more attention based on the “lack” of business attire they