Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [62]
Ladies, when a man at a business event treats you inappropriately, speak up right away and let him know that what he said was not appreciated or acceptable. You don’t have to scream and shout. You can be professional while at the same time letting him know you do not condone or expect such behavior from him or others. Keeping quiet and walking away allows this kind of man to victimize others and actually leaves him with the idea that you were OK with his advances.
Every time you fail to speak up, you leave more bad behavior for other women to have to deal with in the future. If we collectively give the message that this is not acceptable, then the behavior should disappear over time because these men will cease to get rewards from it. People only do what keeps working for them or that which gives them some kind of reward.
CHAPTER 5
Alternate Perceptions, Differing Preferences
The Survey Says ...
Preferences for Different Types of Networking Events
We found more evidence of differing preferences between the sexes when we asked people what kind of networking events they liked. In general, women were more flexible about networking than men, who were more likely to specify either structured or unstructured events. In addition, males expressed a stronger preference than women for structured events (such as referral networking groups).
Brain differences between the genders might help explain what appears to be a more holistic approach to networking by women versus a narrower, structured approach by many men. Plenty of female respondents complained about what they saw as a ham-handed, “what’s in it for me?” manner of networking by some men. This respondent’s observations reflect a facet of that difference:
Within my network, I find that the women are more skilled at asking me about what I do and need, as well as talking about what they do and need. Some of the men seem to have little skill in building information and real connection outside of their own field of work.
Other respondents’ comments, however, suggested that the combination of the male and female styles makes for a more balanced and satisfying networking experience. This respondent acknowledges the differences—but sees benefits in men and women working in tandem to enrich the process and value of networking:
Though there are many differences between the networking styles of men and women, I’ve found in my six years of business that it is the mix and complement of each style that makes the networking events successful.
Beyond just noting the balancing effect of mixing both genders’ networking styles, some of our respondents actually craved it, as mentioned in this observation on an unbalanced, all-female group:
After attending a new women’s networking group, I felt hollow, unproductive, and robbed of my time. As a woman business owner of a women’s health service, I was hoping to gain perspective on other women’s experiences. However, what I walked into was a sappy, emotional, territorial meeting where one woman shared her most recent challenge and the other women told her how they would have done it their way, not how she could have learned from the experience. I truly believe that even though men and women have preferences and tendencies when it comes to networking and business, it is the complement and the synergy between the two which makes entrepreneurs and business growth successful.
Does the presence of the opposite sex apply pressure to both sexes to be on more formal, or at least better, behavior? Is there such a thing as feeling too comfortable at meetings where everyone is alike? The comment below seems almost inspired by mixed groups:
I find the healthiest networking groups tend to have a fairly equal mix of men and women as members. There is a certain richness of experience to be had when there is a good mix of the two genders, which doesn’t exist to the same degree when it’s only one or the other in the room. Each gender brings different gifts and perspectives to the table, and by leveraging