Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [74]
PREY CRITERIA
• My prey must be a relationship in one of my strategic categories.
• They must be willing to assist with my goals.
• They have the relationship connections I need to elevate my status.
• They have the tools or access to what I need to solve my current problems.
After all this logical strategizing, I head deep into the jungle for the hunt. My instincts are honed to the single-minded goal of bringing home the kill. As I head to the known gathering area for my prey, I see multiple herds gathered together, camouflaging their choice members—those who will be valuable to me.
She Comments . . .
Hey, Tarzan! Don’t forget to bring home a gallon of coconut milk while you’re out there.
He Continues . . .
My hunting prowess kicks in as I sort through all of the wannabes, imposters, and unproductive types. I shall identify and isolate those powerful and pertinent to providing the best meat for my family, and then zero in, full force, on what I want. I will not be stopped or deterred by the challenge of finding the jewels hidden among the rest. I am a hunter, provider, and the strongest of my tribe.
Wow. We sure are a strange breed. Believe it or not, what I’ve just illustrated is largely the truth about male thinking, even if shown by humorous analogy. This really is the way we men think when we’re networking.
What does this mean for you women?
It means that if you want to build a productive relationship with a man you must keep in mind where he is coming from and what his goals are as the provider, protector, and hunter of his domain. Begin conversations with men in the transaction mode, keeping the communication about business. This will start the bonding process and allow you to transition with him from hunting mode into relationship mode. Remember that he is hunting for valuable relationships. Once he sees your value, you’re in like Flynn.
What does this mean for us men?
It means we’re being idiots! People aren’t just transactions or pirate booty just to be used for our gain. Remember that while you’re so busy monopolizing the networking process with your thoughts about what you can get from that person, every deal you close in that mode will cost you five times its value.
When you network with women, you must first focus on the human relationship. Stay away from the transaction phase and just focus on growing the business friendship. If you don’t, you’ll lose sales, beneficial introductions, and referrals that can really affect your bottom line.
If you want to have productive male and female relationships, they must be mutually beneficial. Evolution has taught us that groups that communally hunt, catch, and share their wealth process benefit from their combined greater strength as a group over that of the individual. Some days your hunt will be fruitless and others will yield wealth. If we share, we all benefit.
She Comments . . .
Does this mean I can use the remote now?
She Says . . .
We’ve pointed out many times that women are relational and believe building relationships is primary and business connections secondary. We know that men see the business connection as primary, and after all, it is called business networking, so I can’t blame them for that.
Because we women are already very good at connecting in a social way, you can see why we gravitate toward the relational activities of meeting new people, developing quality relationships, and connecting people to one another; something that is also called matchmaking. We are natural born matchmakers and have been doing this since time began. I think it may even be in our DNA. It’s no great surprise that we excel in related activities.
He Comments . . .
I could live another day if I didn’t get fixed up on one more blind date with one of your cousins.
She Continues . . .
Everyone I network with hears the same important question from me: “What can I do to