Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [75]
Neither group really knows what to ask for because they don’t know what goes on behind the scenes, though there are many things I can offer to help them with. A man asking that I refer potential clients to him even though I have never used his service is bold because I have no real relationship with him and this may be the very first time we’ve met. I applaud his courage but I only refer connections who’ve earned a spot over time through solid relationships and great service on my “trusted referral sources and partners” list. I need to believe in the person I refer and this understanding takes time to reveal itself.
It’s a wonderful skill to be able to confidently reach out and connect to others in an effort to build strong relationships, but leveraging already proven relationships for business gain will always be favored over investing in new acquaintances.
Women’s strengths lie in not only building relationships, but also in meeting new people and connecting everyone together for collaboration, using our wonderful matchmaking skills. Since the beginning of time, women have been at the core of forming the social structures of communities, beginning with our caveman and cavewoman roots. Modern-day business life finds us using those same natural assets to create true meaning in our professional relationships. If we can learn to add some of the strengths that men have to our toolbox, we will be invincible.
He Comments . . .
Hey, I like it when you talk like that!
The Survey Says . . .
Gender Weaknesses
When both sexes were asked to rate their weakest features in the networking process, their answers reflected the same results as when asked to rate themselves by strengths in the previous group of questions. Figure 6.2 on page 162 shows that men consider themselves weakest at continuing the conversation after a few minutes and approaching someone for the first time. Women felt their greatest weaknesses were being able to turn relationships into business opportunities, using a follow-up system, and knowing how to gracefully close a conversation. Our respondents wax on that theme here:
I’m very tired of networking for its own sake and finding nothing to hook onto. Everyone talks but nothing happens.
In general, I find men to be more “in your face” when it comes to networking. Women usually talk about everything but business when we first meet—we talk about movies, restaurants, family—and then we talk business. Men get to the purpose of the conversation faster, and while this probably makes the conversations shorter, it doesn’t necessarily foster as much trust or strength for the relationship. The men I do tend to refer leads to are chattier, friendly types, because I feel I know them better.
I find it easier to speak to the opposite sex. Being able to build a personal relationship makes it easier to build a business relationship. When first speaking with men, a business relationship is easy to have. When first conversing with women, they prefer that it not be all business. First they want to know what kind of person you are and if they have something in common with you. There is an unspoken approval process they go through before conducting business with you.
FIGURE 6.2—Weaknesses in Networking
He Says . . .
Men and women agree that their ability to turn relationships into business through networking is a big problem. Though we agree, we have different reasons for our similarities. Women are weak at closing the deal because they aren’t particularly interested in doing so. Men rate themselves weak at closing the deal because of the high expectations they have set for themselves in that area. Do you see a pattern here?
The survey indicates men feel comfortable networking but don’t see the importance of it in the grand scheme