Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [76]
We know men are transactional by nature and therefore see networking as a zero-gain game. Either we are making money right now, or we’re not. If the return on the investment of time and effort is not clearly apparent, the activity is not worthwhile.
She Laughs . . .
Make THIS networking leap of faith, men! Picture a bunch of women fussing around a baby or looking at a photo album. Notice how fast any men in the vicinity vanish into thin air. Have you ever seen men move so quickly?
He Continues . . .
You never know. Most men are frustrated by their own low numbers of converting relationships into business transactions, not because it is an actual weakness, but because they set the bar to a goal inappropriate for what is going on. The best way men can achieve satisfaction in this area is to stop thinking of networking relationships as transaction goals. We’ll then not see our failure as a weakness, because it won’t actually be a failure.
Men, set this key phrase to memory: You never know. You never know who’s going to give you your next referral, when it will come, or who you’ll meet and what role they’ll end up playing in your life. You never know either how some favor or warm gesture you perform today will manifest a ripple into the future. It’s impossible to predict.
If you believe all that fluffy “Give to the universe and it will give back to you,” karma stuff is for the naive, let me share a true story with you to illustrate my very important point. The names have been changed for obvious reasons.
Let’s Get Rid of Her, She’s Not Worth That Much
Two months into helping start up a new chapter of BNI in Scarsdale, New York, the Membership Committee members met to talk about chapter growth and the kind of members we wanted in the group.
“Paul,” a financial planner, said, “I think we should only focus on getting business owners in here whose companies have at least 10 employees.”
I said, “That’s not really what this is about. The whole concept here is to have a diversity of professions, company sizes, business ages, ages of professionals, etc. Basically it would be like the diversity we have now with our 36 members, but on a larger scale.”
Paul strongly contended that what we currently had could be improved by getting “much better members in here.”
“Better members?” I asked, with a cautionary raised eyebrow.
“Yes,” he replied, “take Jacqueline, for example.” The hairs on the back of my neck bristled.
“She doesn’t own the business, and she’s what, 21 years old? She’s not going to be able to contribute very much to the chapter. We need someone who has owned a business for years, makes great money, and has a high net worth,” Paul concluded, proudly making his case.
“Sounds to me that you’re more focused on what would benefit you than the group. She’s a great person, a very good member, and we’re keeping her,” I firmly announced.
SIX MONTHS LATER
As the president, during a network meeting I directed our group’s attention to the referral phase of our gathering and said, “Please stand up, state your name, who your referral is for, and the quick story behind it.”
Jacqueline stood up and began talking about her best friend’s dad passing away in high school, leaving her friend, Susan, and her brother and mother alone. “Three months ago Susan’s mom died of cancer,” Jacqueline continued, “and now that Susan has inherited the estate, she’s not sure what to do with all the assets and asked if I knew of anyone qualified to help. I was excited to be able to help refer her to Paul because he’s a great guy, so smart and good at what he does. I told her about how he helped me start a savings plan.” Jacqueline went on to tell Paul that not only was she referring Susan, but that her inheritance of more than $2.5 million needed managing, and she needed advice on taking care of her and her brother in the process.
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