Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [77]
I noticed Paul and Jacqueline speaking, and when they finished, I walked over and heard Paul wrapping up the conversation with, “Okay, great. No problem. I’ll give her a call and get together with her right away. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of her, and thank you for the referral.”
When Jacqueline walked away I could not resist the urge to gloat, “You were right, Paul, we should have gotten rid of her six months ago!”
He dropped his head sheepishly, shaking it, and said, “Oh, my gosh. I feel like such an idiot.”
I couldn’t help but drive the point further home, “You should, Paul. You never know. You just never know where that next referral is going to come from. Have you ever received a referral from anyone else in this group of that size?”
“Nothing even close,” he replied.
I asked him if he’d ever received a two-and-a-half-million-dollar referral from anyone at all.
“No. Never,” he stated.
“Never judge someone based on what you think you can get from them today. Relationships are long in the making and are about building long -term success. You never know who people are connected to or where your reputation will take you. You just never know,” I said, and walked away.
She Says . . .
Because we women consider building relationships one of our key strengths, the fact that we consider our weakest link the perceived inability to convert relationships into business should come as no surprise. Here is a comment that was left on my blog by a reader:
I’m a new small-business owner with potential for huge growth. People who know me well describe me as outgoing, confident, strong, good with people and knowing what I want and how to get it. I’m passionate and intense about what I believe in and do, however, I am finding it very difficult to ask for referrals or help of any kind even from those I have known for years. I have worked with church groups in the past and have had to basically beg for others and did it. I just can’t ask for what I need for myself. Why is this?
She asked that question because it’s confusing why women don’t feel comfortable asking for things for themselves. We have this fear that others will think poorly of us, or we will be a burden or considered weak. We get confused about why we are networking. It’s not just to build relationships. To build up our businesses we have to ask for what we need. People will not just magically figure that out and give it to us.
I was invited to speak to an audience of men and women about how they could get more from their networking efforts. I talked mostly about generating more business from networking events. When I finished and began circulating about in the foyer, a lot of people approached me with comments and questions. Interestingly, the women felt I’d spent too much emphasis in my talk on networking for the end means of business, when they felt the most important part of networking was to meet people and build long-term relationships with them.
One woman was very upset, feeling that I commercialized relationships. I asked her how she got more business. She said that when people got to know her and what she did, they chose her service. She stated that she did not have to sell her friends to get business. Conversely, more of the men thanked me for the information and wanted to know even more about how to leverage their networking time to create business.
The thing that stops women from leveraging their networking efforts into business is the asking step. This survey respondent’s comment reveals that.
As a sales trainer I’ve noticed for years that men “ask for the sale” much more readily than women, who need additional coaching in this area.
One reason we take a very passive role in generating referrals through our networks is that we are very protective of our clients, preferring to take care of them ourselves rather than connecting them to others who may not treat them as well.
This weakest link for women, not converting connections into business, extends beyond