Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [82]
He Comments . . .
Does this rule also include using my GPS while I’m on a conference call in my car?
She Continues . . .
I think most of us would agree that we are on our best behavior in the beginning of getting to know one another, wanting to put our best face forward. If this is the behavior I get in the beginning of a networking process, I’ve learned that it is a signal that the person isn’t willing to listen, or even is incapable of it. Of course I don’t want to connect that person with valuable resources!
Sincerity is the other attribute women ranked of greater importance than did men. There’s nothing I dislike more than a fake. The insincerity is just dripping off of them as they try and charm their way into your pockets. We women run into this in business—that feeling that men are just in it for themselves, being cloyingly sweet to sell you something.
He Comments . . .
That kind of sounds like what happened with this very wealthy guy in his 90s I know who married a 22-year-old.
She Responds . . .
That’s not what I’m talking about! But I agree, insincerity is disgusting wherever it’s coming from.
Every woman has had the after-date experience where the guy says he’ll call and doesn’t. I remember a professional connection that left me feeling a little used, which I couldn’t see from my vantage point until it was over. I had built a referral relationship with a guy who had a common target market, and we worked well with each other’s clients. I arranged speaking engagements and gave him referrals. The relationship felt good. After about a year I was able to step back and see that his intentions were very insincere. He spoke of giving but his actions were only of taking. It didn’t feel good, needless to say, but sometimes sincerity is a hard attribute to understand.
Though women ranked sincerity higher than men as a valuable networking trait, both men and women truly want it. We both hold out hope that the people we build connections with in the future will be sincere, don’t we?
CHAPTER 7
Networking Investments
The Survey Says . . .
Time Spent Networking
We asked a number of questions in the survey regarding time spent in networking activities. Both men and women devoted fairly similar amounts of time to these endeavors. When asked, “How many organizations do you belong to for the purpose of networking with others?” women averaged 2.47 groups and men averaged 2.58 groups. Hence, men belonged to slightly more networking groups on average than women did.
When asked how many hours per week they averaged developing their networks, men and women again responded with similar numbers. The overall average amount of time that people spent on networking activities was 6.31 hours. Men slightly outpaced women at 6.44 hours per week on average compared to women averaging 6.19.
Why do the numbers show women spending less time networking than men? Judging from respondents’ comments, women appear to be very cognizant of and purposeful with the time they devote to networking, as we see reflected in the comments below:
Women tend to network less due to family obligations, especially those with young children.
Family time is precious, so I dedicate my networking time to business hours.
In addition, we’ve found that women generate more referrals from their networking efforts. In contrast, men appear to be less cognizant of and organized about their networking and expect results faster. We’re finding that women are more organized and focused in their networking efforts, particularly if family needs are competing for their time, as expressed in the response below:
I’ve heard stories from other men who use networking as their primary method to get leads and sales. They quit