Caine Mutiny, The - Herman Wouk [97]
“I believe I could guarantee you a fitness report that would remove any possible doubt on that score-”
Queeg suddenly plunged his left hand into his pocket and brought out the steel balls. “Don’t misunderstand me, sir. I don’t say that CO of the Caine is the best assignment any officer has ever had, or even that it’s the assignment I deserved. But it happens to be the assignment I’ve got. I don’t pretend to be the cleverest or smoothest officer in the Navy, Captain, by a long shot-I wasn’t first in my class by any manner of means, and I never got very good grease marks-but I’ll tell you this, sir, I’m one of the stubbornest. I’ve sweated through tougher assignments than this. I haven’t won any popularity contests, but I have bitched and crabbed and hollered and bullied until I’ve gotten things done the way I wanted them done, and the only way I’ve ever wanted things done is by the book. I’m a book man. The Caine is far from what I want it to be, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up and sneak off to some shore billet. No, thank you, Captain Grace.” He looked for a moment at the operations officer, and resumed his glowering address to the invisible audience in front of and a little above him. “I am captain of the Caine, and I intend to remain captain, and while I’m captain the Caine will carry out all its assignments or go to the bottom trying. I’ll promise you one thing, sir-if stubbornness, and toughness, and unremitting vigilance and supervision by the commanding officer are of any avail, the Caine will come through any combat duty assigned. And I’ll stand by the fitness report I’ll get when my tour of duty is over, sir. That’s all I have to say.”
Grace leaned backward, hooking his arm over the back of his chair. He regarded Queeg with’ a slight smile, and nodded his head slowly several times. “Professional pride and a sense of duty, both of which you obviously have, can carry an officer a long way in this outfit.” He stood, and put out his hand to Queeg. “I think we’ve each spoken our piece. I’m going to accept your report. As to these mistakes of yours, or unfortunate incidents, as you prefer to call them, well, they say a bad beginning makes a good ending- You know, Commander,” he went on, rapping his pipe on the glass ashtray, “we got a lot of indoctrination at the Academy about the degree of perfection that’s expected in a naval officer, and the fact that there’s no margin for error, and so forth. Well, I sometimes wonder whether all that wasn’t laid on a bit too thick.”
Queeg glanced questioningly at the operations officer, who laughed.
“Sounds like heresy, hey? Well, all I’ve got to say is, I’ve seen so much motion wasted and ink spilled and hot air issued in this outfit, trying to make a plain dumb mistake fit into this pattern of perfection, after the fact- Well, maybe I’m getting too old to keep the game up, or something.” He shrugged. “If I were you, Commander, I’d worry a little less about making mistakes, and a little more about doing the most sensible and useful thing that occurs to you in any given circumstances.”
“Thank you, sir,” said Queeg. “I have always endeavored to make only sensible and useful decisions, and in view of your kind advice I shall redouble my efforts in that direction.”
The captain of the Caine returned by bus to the dock where his ship was moored. Descending among a group of yard workmen, he was unnoticed by anyone on the Caine until he came walking up the gangway. Unluckily, the gangway petty officer, Stilwell, was leaning on the OOD’s desk, leafing through a comic book which he had idly picked off the deck; and Queeg saw this, though the gangway messenger bellowed “Attention on deck!” and Stilwell spun around and froze in a stiff salute.
The captain returned the salute, apparently unperturbed. “Where’s the officer of the deck?”
“Ensign Harding is on the forecastle, sir,” Stilwell rapped out, “getting new chafing gear put on number-one