Caine Mutiny, The - Herman Wouk [98]
“Kay. Messenger, call Ensign Harding to the quarterdeck.” They waited in silence, the gunner’s mate at rigid attention, the captain smoking, and glancing curiously around the deck. Sailors who issued whistling or humming from the passageways stopped their song, and either shrank back into the gloom or continued on with rapid steps, squaring their hats and averting their eyes. Harding came out of the starboard passageway and exchanged salutes with the captain.
“Mr. Harding,” said Queeg, “are you aware that your gangway petty officer was reading on watch?”
The ensign, shocked, turned to the gunner’s mate. “Is that true, Stilwell?”
Queeg snapped angrily, “Of course it’s true! Do you take me for a liar, sir?”
The OOD shook his head dizzily. “I didn’t mean to imply-”
“Mr. Harding, did you know he was reading on watch?”
“No, sir.”
“Well, why didn’t you?”
“Sir, number-one line was beginning to fray, and I was-”
“I didn’t ask you for an alibi, Mr. Harding. An officer of the deck has no alibis. He is responsible for every goddamned thing that happens during his watch, every goddamned thing, do you hear?” Queeg was shouting, and the crew men working on the galley deckhouse and the afterdeck turned to hear. “You will call your relief, Mr. Harding, and you will notify the senior watch officer that you have been removed from the watch bill until such time as you seem to have acquired some dim notion of an officer of the deck’s duties and responsibilities! Is that clear?”
“Aye aye, sir,” Harding said hoarsely.
“As for this man,” said Queeg, pointing at Stilwell with his thumb, “you will, place him on report, and we’ll see whether six months’ restriction to the ship will teach him not to read on watch, and whether that lesson suffices for the rest of the crew, or anyone else needs the same dose- Carry on.”
Queeg walked off the quarterdeck and went below to his cabin. On his desk lay the two written reports about Urban’s shirttail. He tossed his cap on his bed, took off his jacket, loosened his tie, dropped into the swivel chair, and read the reports through hastily, rattling the balls in his fist. Then he rang a buzzer and picked up the telephone on a bracket by the desk. “Tell the gangway messenger to find Lieutenant Keefer and have him report to my cabin.” In a few minutes there was a knock at the door. Queeg, who had been sitting with his head in his hands, picked up Keefer’s report, turned to the second page, and called over his shoulder, “Come in!”
The communications officer entered, and closed the door. After a moment Keefer said, addressing the captain’s back: “You sent for me, sir?”
Queeg grunted, and rustled the papers. With a patronizing grin, Keefer propped his long, thin frame against the captain’s bunk, resting on his elbows, and waited. The captain dropped the report to the desk, and pushed it aside with the back of his hand. “Unsatisfactory!”
“Oh?” said the communications officer. “May I ask why, sir?”
But he allowed a little too much aristocratic amusement to creep into his tone. Queeg looked up at him swiftly. “Stand at attention, Mr. Keefer, when you’re in conference with your commanding officer!”
Keefer straightened in a leisurely way, an irritating ghost of a grin remaining on his face. “I beg your pardon, sir.”
“Take that back,” said Queeg, contemptuously indicating the report with his thumb. “Rewrite and resubmit prior to 1600 today.”
“Aye aye, sir. May I respectfully inquire in what way it is inadequate?”
“It tells me nothing I didn’t know before, and explains nothing I wanted explained.”
“Sorry, sir. I’m afraid I don’t understand that.”
“I see.” Queeg picked up the other report, which Keefer had rattled off for Willie Keith’s signature, and flourished it. “Well, Mr. Keefer, I suggest you consult your assistant, Ensign Keith, in that case. He can teach you a great deal about composing a written report, strange as it may seem. This letter which he submitted on the same subject is absolutely excellent.”
“Thank you, sir,” said Keefer. “I’m happy to know I have such talent in my department.