Cambridge Blue - Alison Bruce [127]
Jackie Moran opened her eyes. The papers were still laid out on the desk, and she was still in the interview room. On the face of it, nothing had changed, but for the first time she could see the world, or more specifically, her world, for what it was.
In front of her was proof of a lie. It was proof that it wasn’t the first lie she’d been told, and proof of the many other lies that had rained down on her ever since. Here was conclusive evidence, the gas and canary test whose verdict found all of her relationships to be tiny, featherless corpses.
She recalled one of Goodhew’s questions: imagine you could have the freedom to do whatever you wanted with the rest of your life, what would you do?
It was no longer a stupid question; in fact, it was the only little bird that still hopped and sang. Its voice was clear and insistent. All she had to do was open the cage.
She knocked on the door until he came to see what she wanted. He held it a few inches ajar and spoke through the gap. ‘What?’
‘I know what I was afraid of,’ she said.
His eyes were at their most vivid, concentrating on her, looking for subtext. He said nothing and the space between her and Goodhew became hot and airless, slowing the seconds and constricting her chest.
She drew a deep breath and spoke first, ‘Finding out it was all lies, and then facing up to it.’
‘And?’
‘I’ve no choice now.’
He gave a half nod and she saw his expression soften. ‘What do you want to do?’ he asked her.
She looked beyond him to the interview room along the corridor. ‘Go in there.’
‘One to one?’
‘No, along with you.’
Goodhew opened the interview room door and let Jackie walk through first. Part of her wanted to hang back and make him take the first step, but the rest of her knew this was the right way to do it.
‘Jackie has been cleared of any involvement,’ he announced, ‘and she wants to talk to you. I said you’d already expressed the desire to help her in any way possible.’
Jackie picked up a chair and placed it directly across from her sister. She sat down and took her time to study Alice, whose expressions were always hard to read and, in the end, Jackie categorized this one as an attempt at indifference. But she could also see that Alice was trying much too hard.
Goodhew had moved his own chair three or four feet back from the table. This was the only time he had seen them together, and Jackie considered it from his point of view. There was certainly a family resemblance, but Alice was taller and wiry, more self-assured, and they both knew she was the smarter of the two. Jackie stared at her big sister, and could still feel the lingering residue of childhood awe. She hoped Goodhew wouldn’t intervene, and also hoped he wouldn’t need to.
Jackie wanted to broach the first question, but her thoughts wouldn’t crystallize into an opening line. She hesitated too long and finally Alice spoke, looking only at Jackie. ‘What are you are doing?’
‘I need some answers.’
‘What answers?’ Alice frowned, the skin between her eyebrows drawing into two deep vertical creases.
‘Ones that will make everything add up.’ Jackie heard the defensive note in her voice, and knew she needed to stop and regroup.
‘What are you talking about?’ Alice persisted. So far she’d been the only one who’d ever asked any questions.
Jackie let Alice’s words hang in the air until it was clear that she had no intention of answering.
Goodhew watched her, steady and calm. He was the true strength in this room now, not Alice.
And when Jackie spoke, it was with all the authority that she’d been hoping her voice could find. ‘You have manipulated me and you have all but ruined my life. I came to you for help and you dismissed everything I said, and I thought it was all because you truly believed I had killed David. Then later, when Emma disappeared, I thought you were blindly protecting Richard. You are such a liar.’
Alice said nothing, and Jackie continued.
‘My God, you really don’t get it. I see through you now, and you can’t fob