Can you keep a secret_ - Sophie Kinsella [112]
Lissy opens her mouth.
'Anyway, I don't care,' I add defiantly, before she can answer. 'I don't care what it is.'
'Sure,' says Lissy, and gives me a sympathetic smile.
As I arrive at the office, Artemis looks up from her desk with a bright-eyed glance.
'Morning Emma!' She smirks at Catherine. 'Read any intellectual books lately?'
Oh, ha ha-di-ha. So, so funny. Everyone else at work has got bored with teasing me. Only Artemis still thinks it's completely hilarious.
'Actually, Artemis, I have,' I say brightly, taking off my jacket. 'I read this really good book recently, it was called "What to do if your colleague is an obnoxious cow who picks her nose when she thinks no-one's looking."'
There's a guffaw around the office, and Artemis flushes a dark red.
'I don't!' she snaps.
'I never said you did,' I reply innocently, and switch on my computer with a flourish.
'Ready to go to the meeting, Artemis?' says Paul, coming out of his office with his briefcase and a magazine in his hand. 'And by the way, Nick,' he adds ominously, 'Before I go, would you mind telling me what on earth possessed you to put a coupon ad for Panther Bars in –' he consults the front cover
'– Bowling Monthly magazine? I'm assuming it was you, as this is your product?'
My heart gives a little swoop, and I lift my head. Shit. Double shit. I didn't think Paul would ever find out about that.
Nick shoots me a dirty look and I pull an agonized face back.
'Well,' he begins truculently. 'Yes, Paul. Panther Bars are my product. But as it happens—'
Oh God. I can't let him take the blame.
'Paul,' I say in a trembling voice, half raising my hand. 'Actually, it was—'
'Because I want to tell you,' Paul grins at Nick. 'It was bloody inspired! I've just had the feedback figures, and bearing in mind the pitiful circulation … they're extraordinary!'
I stare at him in astonishment. The ad worked?
'Really?' says Nick, obviously trying to sound not too amazed. 'I mean – excellent!'
'What the fuck compelled you to advertise a teenage bar to a load of old codgers?'
'Well!' Nick adjusts his cufflinks, not looking anywhere near me. 'Obviously it was a bit of a gamble. But I simply felt that maybe it was time to … to fly a few kites … experiment with a new demographic …'
Hang on a minute. What's he saying?
'Well, your experiment paid off.' Paul gives Nick an approving look. 'And very interestingly, it coincides with some Scandinavian market research we've just had in. If you'd like to see me later, to discuss it—'
'Sure!' says Nick with a pleased smile. 'What sort of time?'
No! How can he? He is such a bastard.
'Wait!' To my own astonishment, I leap to my feet in outrage. 'Wait a minute! That was my idea!'
'What?' Paul frowns.
'The Bowling Monthly ad. It was my idea. Wasn't it, Nick?' I look directly at him.
'Maybe we discussed it,' he says, not meeting my eye. 'I don't really remember. But you know, something you'll have to learn, Emma, is that marketing's all about team-work …' .
'Don't patronize me! This wasn't team-work. It was totally my idea. I put it in for my grandpa!'
Damn. I didn't quite mean to let that slip out.
'First your parents. Now your grandpa,' says Paul, turning to look at me. 'Emma, remind me, is this Bring Your Entire Family To Work week?'
'No! It's just …' I begin, a little hot under his gaze. 'You said you were going to axe Panther Bars, so I … I thought I'd give him and his friends some money off, and they could all stock up. I tried to tell you at that big meeting, my grandfather loves Panther Bars! And so do all his friends. If you ask me, you should be marketing Panther Bars at them, not teenagers.'
There's silence. Paul looks astonished.
'You know, in Scandinavia, they're coming to the same conclusion,' he says. 'That's what this new research shows.'
'Oh,' I say. 'Well … there you go.'
'So why does this older generation like Panther Bars so much,