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'Yes, of course I know.'

'It's the grey pound,' puts in Nick wisely. 'Demographic shifts in the pensionable population are accounting for—'

'No it's not!' I say impatiently. 'It's because … because …' Oh God, Grandpa will absolutely kill me for saying this. 'It's because … they don't pull out their false teeth.'

There's a staggered pause. Then Paul throws back his head and roars with laughter. 'False teeth,' he says, wiping his eyes. 'That is sheer bloody genius, Emma. False teeth!'

He chuckles again and I stare back at him, feeling the blood beating in my head. I've got the strangest feeling. Like something's building up inside me, as though I'm about to—

'So can I have a promotion?'

'What?' Paul looks up.

Did I really just say that? Out loud?

'Can I have a promotion?' My voice is trembling slightly, but I hold firm. 'You said if I created my own opportunities I could have a promotion. That's what you said. Isn't this creating my own opportunities?'

Paul looks at me for a few moments, blinking, saying nothing.

'You know, Emma Corrigan,' he says at last. 'You are one of the most … one of the most surprising people I've ever known.'

'Is that a yes?' I persist.

There's silence in the entire office. Everyone's waiting to see what he'll say.

'Oh, for God's sake,' he says, rolling his eyes. 'All right! You can have a promotion. Is that it?'

'No,' I hear myself saying, my heart beating even more furiously. 'There's more. Paul, I broke your World Cup mug.'

'What?' He looks gobsmacked.

'I'm really sorry. I'll buy you another one.' I look around the silent, gawping office. 'And it was me who jammed the copier that time. In fact … all the times. And that bottom …' Amid agog faces, I walk to the pin-board and rip down the photocopied, G-stringed bottom. 'That's mine, and I don't want it up there any more.' I swivel round. 'And Artemis, about your spider plant …'

'What?' she says suspiciously.

I stare at her, in her Burberry raincoat and her designer spectacles, and her smug, I'm-better-than-you face.

OK, let's not get carried away. 'I … I can't think what's wrong with it.' I smile at her. 'Have a good meeting.'

For the rest of the day, I am totally exhilarated. Kind of shocked and exhilarated, all at the same time. I can't believe I'm getting a promotion. I'm actually going to be a Marketing Executive!

But it's not just that. I don't quite know what's happened to me. I feel like a whole new person. So what if I broke Paul's mug? Who cares? So what if everyone knows how much I weigh? Who cares? Goodbye old, crap Emma, who hides her Oxfam bags under her desk. Hello new, confident Emma, who proudly hangs them on her chair.

I rang Mum and Dad to tell them I was getting promoted, and they were so impressed! They said at once they'd come up to London and take me out to celebrate. And then I had a really nice long chat with Mum about Jack. She said some relationships were supposed to last for ever and some were only supposed to last a few days, and that was just the way life was. Then she told me all about some chap in Paris who she'd had some amazing forty-eight hour fling with. She said she'd never experienced physical pleasure like it, and she knew it could never last, but that made it all the more poignant.

Then she added I needn't mention any of this to Dad.

Gosh. I'm actually quite shocked. I always thought Mum and Dad … at least, I never …

Well. It just goes to show.

But she is right. Some relationships are meant to be short-lived. Jack and I were obviously never going to get anywhere. And actually, I'm very sorted out about it. In fact, I'm pretty much over him. My heart only went into spasm once today, when I thought I saw him in the corridor, and I recovered really quickly.

My whole new life begins today. In fact, I expect I'll meet someone new tonight at Lissy's dancing show. Some really tall, dashing lawyer. Yes. And he'll come and pick me up from work in his amazingly fab sports car. And I'll trip happily down the steps, tossing my hair back, not