Cannot Wait to Get to Heaven - Fannie Flagg [103]
Macky said, “They may call it an assisted living facility, but it’s still an old folks’ home no matter what fancy name you give it.”
“And what’s the matter with an old folks’ home? She is old. How old, we will never know, thanks to Mother.”
Back in Kansas City
10:48 PM
Winston Sprague had finally been knocked off his high horse, not by a person, but by a shoe. The lawyer sat staring at the golf shoe he now kept under his bed, and pondered the same old question that had nagged at him for the past weeks: “How in the hell had she known it was there?” Franklin Pixton had been sure there was a logical explanation, but Winston had not been as sure, and had done a little investigating on his own. He had spent hours going through the old hospital archives and had discovered that at one time, before the new hospital building and trauma center had been built, there had also been a helicopter pad on top of the building. He had searched through the data they had on microfilm and had found out that between the years 1963 and 1986 the old hospital had flown in over nine hundred and eighty patients suffering from heart attacks. Three hundred and eight had been flown directly from the many golf courses around the area, including six cases of men who had been struck by lightning while playing golf. So it was certainly possible that in the rush to get them off the helicopter and onto a gurney, one of the three hundred and eight golf players might have lost a shoe. But still…the question remained, “How could the old lady have seen it?”
Norma Gives Up
11:14 AM
The day after Elner refused to go to Happy Acres, Norma made a phone call to their family physician. Maybe Tot had the right idea, she took tranquilizers.
“Dr. Halling,” she said, “I wonder if you could give me something for stress?”
“Stress?”
“Yes. A few months ago I broke out with rosacea, and the dermatologist said it was caused by stress.”
“I see. Well, why don’t you come in and let me take a look at you?”
“No, I really can’t do that right now. My nerves are just too bad. If there is something seriously wrong with me, I really don’t want to know.”
Dr. Halling said, “All right, but come in and let’s at least talk about it.”
Dr. Halling knew Norma well, and he knew he would never get her to come in if he threatened her with any tests. She was the biggest hypochondriac he had ever encountered in all his years of practice.
The next day Norma sat in Dr. Halling’s office as far away from him as possible. Even though he had promised no tests, she was still nervous.
He looked at her over his glasses. “So, other than rosacea and your hair falling out, any other symptoms?”
“No.”
“Are you still walking thirty minutes a day?”
“Yes, well, I try. I used to go to the mall and walk twice a week with Irene Goodnight and Reverend Susie, my minister, but I haven’t gone in a while.”
“I see. Well, you need to do that. What is your average day like?”
“Oh, nothing much. I get up and clean the house, do the laundry, visit a few friends.”
“Any outside activities?”
“Besides church and Weight Watchers? No, not really.”
“Hobbies?”
“No, not really. Other than cooking, taking care of the house, and trying to look after Aunt Elner, of course.”
“Well, I’m going to give you a prescription for something to help you sleep, but I think your main problem is that you have too much time on your hands, too much free time to worry. Have you ever thought about going to work?”
“Work?”
“Yes, have you ever worked?”
“No, not outside the home. There was one day I worked as a hostess at the pancake house, but I hated that so I quit.”
“I see. Well, I think you should consider getting a job. Maybe a part-time job?”
“A job? At my age? What kind of job?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Something you might enjoy. What do you like to do?”
As Norma walked out to the parking lot, she kept thinking, “What do I like to do? What do I like to do?” At one time she had considered opening her own Merle Norman cosmetics store. But that was only because she had been afraid they would change