Cannot Wait to Get to Heaven - Fannie Flagg [117]
“Well, what is she doing?”
“That’s just it, she’s not doing a thing…except floating around on the beach all day taking hula lessons. She sounds awfully happy and cheerful.”
“That’s not like Tot.”
“No, it’s not, and it just makes me wonder if she might not have found herself a boyfriend over there.”
“Did she say so?”
“No, but it stands to reason, don’t you think? And I wonder if he’s not a Hawaiian?”
Ruby sighed. “Oh, I just don’t know anymore, Verbena. The world has gone so crazy, it could be a Hawaiian woman, for all we know.”
“Well, I hope she’s wearing sunscreen, she’s going to ruin her skin running around in that hot sun. She’s liable to get skin cancer.”
“That’s right, when they take off part of her nose, she won’t feel so native, I can tell you that.”
“I don’t think she cares one way or another. She said she’s just glad she made it to social security.”
“Tot is the last person in the world I ever dreamed would go native.”
“Me too. I’m telling you, the longer I live the more surprised I am at people. You just never know from one minute to the next what will happen.”
And so, contrary to the sign she had up in her beauty shop, OLD HAIRDRESSERS NEVER RETIRE, THEY JUST CURL UP AND DYE, Tot did in fact retire. She took the advice Elner had given her and was living every day as if it might be her last. And as Tot sat on her lanai that evening enjoying the warm tropical breeze and sipping her piña colada, she glanced over at her new companion, who sat beside her, and she suddenly remembered the old travelogs they used to show at the movies.
She closed her eyes, and soon the soft strains of Hawaiian music began to play and she could almost hear a familiar man’s singsong voice saying,
“And as the golden sun sets, once again, over beautiful Waikiki Beach, we bid all of you, Aloha and good-bye…. until we meet again.”
Epilogue
When Elner Jane Shimfissle got off the elevator, she looked down at the end of the hall, and saw a smiling Dorothy and Raymond standing outside the door, waiting to greet her. She was overjoyed to see them again. But just before they went inside, she stopped and whispered to Dorothy, “This is the real thing, isn’t it? It’s not another short visit, is it?”
Dorothy laughed. “No, honey, it’s the real thing this time.”
Raymond smiled and said, “Come on in, you’ve got a lot of people anxious to see you.” The big door swung open, and there stood a large group, including her mother and daddy, her sisters Ida and Gerta, and a lot of other relatives she had only seen in old family photographs. Ginger Rogers and Thomas Edison stood behind them, waving and smiling at her. It was at that moment that she found him. There, standing right in the middle of the first row, was her husband, Will! He stepped forward wearing a big grin, with his arms wide open, and said, “What took you so long, woman?” She ran to him and knew she was home for good.
Recipes
Neighbor Dorothy’s Heavenly Caramel Cake
PREHEAT OVEN TO 350 DEGREES.
1¾ cups cake flour (sift before measuring)
Resift with 1 cup brown sugar Add:
½ cup soft butter
2 eggs
½ cup milk
½ teaspoon salt
1¾ teaspoons double-acting baking powder
1 teaspoon vanilla
Beat for 3 minutes. Bake in greased pan for ½ hour.
CARAMEL FROSTING
2 tablespoons cake flour
½ cup milk
½ cup brown sugar
½ cup sifted powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
¼ cup butter, softened
¼ cup shortening
¼ teaspoon salt
Mix cake flour and milk. Cook to a thick paste over slow flame. Cool. Cream sugars and vanilla with butter and shortening. Beat until light and fluffy. Blend in salt. Mix in cooled paste. Beat until fluffy. Blend. Should look like whipped cream.
Mrs. McWilliams’ Corn Bread
4 cups cornmeal
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 teaspoons salt
4 eggs, beaten
4 cups