Cannot Wait to Get to Heaven - Fannie Flagg [46]
“Oh sure.” He nodded. “You can’t put the cart before the horse, so it stands to reason, you have to have an egg for the chicken to come out of.”
Elner was clearly disappointed, and said, “Well, darn it all. I sure figured wrong on that one, now I’m glad I didn’t call Bud and Jay. Live and learn, I guess.” She looked over at Dorothy. “Do I get to ask another one, or was that it?”
“You get to ask as many questions as you want, doesn’t she, Raymond?”
“You bet. That’s what we’re here for…fire away.”
“Oh, good,” she said. “I guess my second question would be, what is life all about?”
Raymond nodded thoughtfully and repeated, “What is life all about…hmmm, let’s see.” Then he leaned over the desk, clasped his hands together, looked her straight in the eye, and said, “Darned if I know, Mrs. Shimfissle.”
“Oh, Raymond!” Dorothy said. “Be serious.” She turned to Elner. “He loves to do that.”
Raymond laughed. “All right, I was just kidding. Seriously though, to put it as frankly and simply as I can…life is a gift.”
Dorothy smiled at Elner. “That’s right, a gift from us to you, with love.”
“A gift?” said Elner, thinking it over for a moment. “Well, that was awfully nice of you, and I thank you for it. Of course, I can’t speak for anybody else, but I just loved being a human being, enjoyed almost every minute of it, really, from beginning to end.”
Raymond said, “We know you did, Mrs. Shimfissle, more than most people, I might add, and we’re so glad, that’s all we ever wanted, for you to enjoy it, isn’t that right, Dorothy?”
“Absolutely.” She smiled.
Elner shook her head in amazement at what she had just been told, and she said, “It’s kind of funny, really, all these years, everybody has been so busy trying to figure what life was all about, and all the while, it was just something for us to enjoy.”
“That’s right,” said Raymond. “You see, Mrs. Shimfissle—”
“Oh, please call me Elner.”
“Thank you. You see, Elner, life is not nearly as complicated as people think.”
“No,” said Dorothy cheerfully. “It’s kind of simple, really.”
Raymond turned around to the wall behind him and pulled down a large picture of a carnival scene that lit up with hundreds of colored lights going around in circles, and played carnival music, then said, “You see, Elner, life is like one big roller-coaster ride, with all kinds of bumps and twists and turns, and ups and downs along the way.”
“Ahh,” said Elner, “so all we have to do is just sit back and enjoy it.”
Raymond said, “Exactly. But the problem is…most people think they are steering, and get so busy trying to control it that they miss all the fun parts.”
Elner turned to Dorothy. “I wish Norma could hear this, she’s holding on to that roller coaster for dear life. She’d be better off just relaxing a little.”
“That’s exactly right,” said Raymond, rolling his carnival picture up. “So…Elner,” he asked, “is that answer too far off from what you thought?”
“No, not really…. I always had a feeling it was something like that, but of course you can never be sure, I was dead wrong about the chicken and the egg, so it’s good to know that I was at least on the right track. You want us to be happy.”
“You bet,” he said. “We sure wouldn’t have gone to so much trouble just so people could be miserable all the time, would we, Dorothy?”
“No,” Dorothy said. “Coming up with everything was a lot of hard work. Of course, Raymond did most of the big heavy things, planets, mountains, oceans, elephants. I did ponds, freshwater lakes, and smaller animals. I did dogs and cats…aren’t they fun?”
“Oh, yes,” said Elner. “Old Sonny keeps me entertained night and day, and I always said if anybody is depressed all they need to do is get a kitten. When Tot Whooten had her breakdown, I got her a kitten, and within a week she snapped out of it.”
Dorothy agreed, “Yes, I was very pleased with how kittens turned out, if I do say so myself, and Raymond did oxygen, water, all the major minerals: iron, steel, copper, what else, hon?”
“Silver, gold.” Then Raymond looked at Dorothy and said proudly, “But she came