Cannot Wait to Get to Heaven - Fannie Flagg [53]
Raymond laughed. “Elner, you are a riot.”
She laughed. “Am I? Well, it’s true, though, and Dorothy is just as down to earth as she can be—oh, here’s a question I always wondered about. What’s it like being God? Is it any fun? Or is it all work and no play?”
He took a long draw off his pipe. “Well…it’s just like being anything else, I suppose, a lot of fun, but also a lot of responsibility, a lot of heartbreak.”
“I can see how it would be, considering the way the world is going.”
“Yes, having to sit up here watching them make the same old mistakes generation after generation.”
“What would you say was the biggest mistake?”
“Without a doubt, it’s that revenge thing, you know…you hit me, so I hit you back. I swear, it’s almost like the whole world is stuck in the second grade. I’ll be so glad when they finally get out of this phase and move on.”
“I see your point, and how long will that be?”
“Not too much longer,” he said, emptying the last of the tobacco into the ashtray and putting it back into the drawer. “You know how sometimes it takes a long time for an idea to finally catch on?”
“Like the Hula Hoop?”
He chuckled. “Well, yes, but I was thinking more like, let’s say, the Internet. You know how once that caught on, the idea suddenly spread around the world like wildfire?”
“Oh, yes, everybody seems to be online now.”
“Yes, that’s a perfect example of an idea whose time has come, and just like the Internet, living in peace with one another is also an idea whose time has come.”
“Really?”
“You bet! More and more people are beginning to understand, it’s not just a religious thing, it’s just common plain sense, particularly right now, when they have the means to blow themselves up. They don’t have too much of a choice.”
“No, they don’t.”
“And that’s what the majority of people want now anyway. I see the big picture and I can tell you, there are many more good people on earth than you know, you just seldom hear about them.”
“No, you don’t, not on television anyway.”
“And don’t forget, Elner, I can also see way down the line to the next generations coming in; and I know what’s about to happen.” He looked up at the wall of new babies and suddenly seemed as excited as a young boy. “And guess what else?”
“What?”
“When it happens, there won’t be a bit of difference between earth and here. People won’t have to wait to get to heaven to be happy. Isn’t that fantastic?”
At that moment Dorothy came back into the room, wiping her hands on her apron, and said cheerfully, “Well, I’m stealing her away, we are going to have our cake now. Do you want to join us?”
Raymond said, “No, you two go on and enjoy yourselves. I’m sure you have a lot more girl talk to catch up with. See you later.”
Elner stood up to leave, and as she headed out the door, she turned and said, “Oh, I forgot to ask one thing. What about prayer…does that work?”
“Of course!” he said. “We want you to have anything you want, and if what you are praying for is not bad for you in the long run, we do our best.”
Elner nodded. “You can’t ask for more than that,” she said. “Well, so long, Raymond. I enjoyed our little chat.”
“Me too,” he called back.
Mrs. Franks, an Old Friend
12:01 PM
Mrs. Louise Franks had been a neighbor of Elner’s when Elner had still lived out on the farm, and they had spent a lot of time visiting back and forth with each other over the years, cooking recipes they had heard on the Neighbor Dorothy radio show. After Elner’s husband, Will Shimfissle, had died, and before Elner moved to town, they had seen each other almost every day. Louise still ran a ten-acre farm and today had had a busy morning tending to all the usual chores. It