Choosing to SEE - Mary Beth Chapman [89]
It hasn’t been easy, but at every turn or curve in the road, Steven has sought the wisdom of our Father in Heaven to guide us and hold us up. I say this today to simply ask that you all pray for us as we go tonight to the Dove Awards. That we would honor God for the giftings that He has so graciously poured out on Steven. That the entire Chapman family would be a witness to the faithfulness of God. Not that we have it all together and figured out, but that we are clinging to the only hope we have, the One who does have it all together and figured out, Jesus!
May 2, 2009
I am so thankful that Will and his friends were great sports and let us photo-hungry parents do about a half-hour session before they headed off to dinner and then the prom, which was held on a boat this year!
They all ended up at my house later, and had a great time. Prom yesterday, wedding next Sunday – yikes!
My eighteen-year-old going to senior prom and graduating, and my nineteen-year-old getting married and moving into a house! My head is spinning a bit as I try and savor all the emotions and joy that come with these landmark moments in a young adult’s life.
And the funny thing right now is that I am sitting here with my nine-year-old watching old Little House on the Prairie episodes!
May 3, 2009
Prom, bridal tea! Again, what a mix of emotions! I am so blessed. I would appreciate tons of prayers, as so many events in May do not take away two days that I see staring straight at me: May 13th, sweet Maria’s birthday, and as most of you know, May 21st, the first anniversary of losing Maria.
I would give anything to push rewind, but for some reason, God has us walking through glorious and devastating all at the same time. My prayer is that we walk it out with honesty and humility, giving all honor to the One who is walking us through this month of mountaintops and valleys. I won’t ever pretend to understand, but I do want to be found offering up the confusion and questions to the Author and Keeper of all things. Love to all and thanks for journeying with me.
May 5, 2009
My son Caleb took me on a “date” last night! A sweet last memory before he takes Julia as his bride this Sunday, Mother’s Day. I was going to remind him that when he was a little boy he always talked about never leaving me. He used to tell me he would move right down the yard into the tree house and always take care of me.
But before I could remind him of that, he handed me a Mother’s Day card. Inside that card was the sweetest note, apologizing that he can’t keep his tree house promise!
I would tell him when he was little that someday a sweet young lady would come along and change his mind. He’d wrinkle his nose and say, “No way, Mom!”
Well, that sweet young lady is here – Julia – and this mom and all the Chapmans love her dearly! And they bought a house not five miles from us . . . pretty good considering the whole tree house promise!
May 13, 2009
Maria’s birthday. I honestly don’t know what to write or what to say. I can think of all the “right” things to say, like, “I’m thankful for the years I had with Maria.”
That is a true statement, but I still want more years with her.
I’ve heard things like, “She wasn’t mine to begin with.” That is a true statement as well. She belongs to God. He gave her to me so that I could be her mommy. But I still want to be her mommy . . . I wasn’t prepared to give her back to the One who gave her to me.
I wish with everything in me that I was spending my night trying to figure out what cake I would make, or what cookies or cupcakes I would be taking to her classroom tomorrow to celebrate her sixth birthday.
But tomorrow will come and go, and Maria won’t turn six. At least not here on earth. I’m not sure how it all works in heaven, but I do know that she is complete and whole and happy. But here, this side of the veil, it really just stinks. I miss her and I’d love to have her jump up on my lap with icing all over her and taste her sweet kisses.
Maria was always just