Complete Care for Your Aging Cat - Amy Shojai [61]
When pain or illness consumes her with little hope of recovery; when your cat knows her fight is done; when prolonging her life offers no hope for enjoying that life; these are determinations only you, as your cat’s best friend, can make. People who are closely bonded to their special cats just know when the time is right. Listen to your heart, and your cat will tell you when she’s ready to say goodbye.
Preparing for the End
Veterinary oncologists routinely deal with owners struggling with life and death decisions and ultimately grief. “For me, grief counseling is part of the therapeutic process,” says Dr. Kitchell. “We know what the outcome is going to be. It’s just a questions of how long it takes to get there.”
“The best situations are when a client is emotionally and mentally prepared, and they’ve had time to think about their options,” says Dr. Garrett. “If you see it coming, you can plan things.” For the most part, geriatric cats with chronic diseases such as cancer or kidney failure will not overcome their illness. Treatment actually gives back time the cat wouldn’t otherwise enjoy. Treatment offers the owner time to come to grips with the reality of eventual loss. “Prolongation of life isn’t really my primary goal,” says Dr. Marks, “but if that quality of life leads to quantity of life, then that’s tremendous.”
Dr. Garrett says the best time to talk about pet loss is before you lose your cat. “The diagnosis of a terminal disease is often the time that the grieving process starts,” says Dr. Garrett. An important part of the veterinarian’s job is to talk to clients about their thoughts and feelings, and help them through the process to make the right choices for themselves and their animals.
It’s common for owners at some point during a chronic treatment to ask about what to expect as the end draws near. That’s beneficial because it helps eliminate surprises, and helps you prepare. Typically, veterinarians will explain treatments and the average prognosis at the time of your cat’s diagnosis. There’s no way to predict survival with any accuracy, but the doctor can offer an average life expectancy based on the condition and the chosen treatment. “If it’s a cancer, I’ll explain that we can prolong the life very comfortably but not cure them, and in the end, you will lose her to this disease,” says Dr. Garrett.
There may be instances in which owners prefer to euthanize the cat while she’s still feeling good. For example, a brain tumor could prompt a seizure or hemorrhage that causes a traumatic, scary or painful death that they don’t want to risk their children witnessing. “That’s a horrible memory, with no beauty to it at all. They’d rather talk it over with the family, and plan a euthanasia, have the family there, have her favorite toys there,” says Dr. Garrett. “When she’s fighting a terminal illness, any time is the right time to decide to put her to sleep.”
But remember, this is your choice to make, and many people can’t make this decision as long as the cat looks and feels good. “I respect that, too,” says Dr. Garrett.
Talking to Children
Being there for the euthanasia can be a gift to both the adults and children in the cat’s life when the passage into death is painless, calm, and loving. The loss of a beloved cat typically is the first experience children have with death and losing someone they love. Dr. Kitchell believes it’s very important that children are involved and a part of the process. “It hurts to see this,” she says, “but it would hurt anyway to lose somebody if you love them.” The bond is often deeply shared by children in the cat’s family as well as adults, and this needs to be recognized.
Children learn valuable lessons from the death of a pet. Parents shouldn’t fear including them, says Dr. Kitchell. “This is not just about the biology. The relationship has to be honored and has to be respected. This is about the spiritual