Conquistadora - Esmeralda Santiago [58]
A couple of weeks after the beginning of her cuarentena, Inocente moved from the casona. There was a good enough house for him at the recently purchased finca, he said. He took his clothes and toiletries, and there were days when Ana didn’t see him, although Ramón said that they were together all day long. In order to free a room for Miguel and the wet nurse, Ramón said he’d take the hacienda books and ledgers from the study to the finca.
“But it’s so far from the house,” she complained. “It’s easier for me to do the work here.”
“Inocente and I feel competent to do that now,” he said, “and Severo will help us.”
“Severo? Is it wise for the mayordomo to know the intimate details of our business?”
“He knows our situation better than we do,” he answered.
“Only his side of it, Ramón. Why should he know, for example, how much money we have or don’t have?”
“It’s his job as the manager, Ana. Let him do it. You have enough to do with the baby.”
“I have plenty of help.…”
“This is what Inocente and I decided,” he said, hardening his jaw. “This is a man’s job.…”
“Since when—” She bit her tongue, about to tell him that she’d done the work with no complaints or mistakes for months.
“We will manage it now,” he repeated.
His new assertiveness made her wonder whether she’d underestimated him. Maybe now that he was a father, he might focus on his responsibilities. But it worried her that he didn’t consult her about hacienda business.
Over the next weeks, Ramón, Inocente, and Severo worked late into the night, and sometimes Ramón didn’t return to the casona until the next morning to change his clothes.
Ana looked forward to resuming sex, not so much because it was satisfying for her, but because Ramón and Inocente had taken her cuarentena too seriously and spent entire days away from her.
On the forty-first night, Flora bathed her with warm water scented with crushed geranium petals. She seemed to be as excited about the coming night as Ana. She kept smiling, as if titillated by what Ana and Ramón were about to do.
When he came to bed, Ana noticed a difference in his lovemaking. She expected him to be as impatient as usual. He was, but he was even more distracted and determined to get things over with as quickly as possible. As usual, he rolled over and fell asleep, leaving her raging.
Ramón and Inocente no longer took turns with Ana. Inocente came for some meals and sat on the porch smoking and talking about hacienda business, sometimes with Severo, sometimes not. After the lights-out bell for the slaves, Flora bathed Ana. Ramón knew Ana was ready when Flora asked if there was anything else she could do for him. He had no other request. He joined Ana in bed and sometimes made love to her, sometimes not. But Inocente no longer walked through her bedroom door, and she thought he was avoiding her.
Miguel spent most of his day with Inés, hungrily sucking at her breasts. When he was brought to Ana, Inés and Flora stood nearby as if afraid she’d drop the infant. Siña Damita came to see him whenever she was with her family in Los Gemelos.
“Hold him like this, señora,” Damita instructed. “Cradle little head so not hang in the air.”
Ana held her son, enjoying the warmth of his body against hers, but she soon returned him to Damita, Inés, or Flora. He was tiny and helpless, and she didn’t know what to do with him.
“He likes if you sing, señora,” Flora suggested. She and Inés sang constantly to the child. They also cooed, smiled, made clicking noises with their tongues to make him laugh. Ana couldn’t bring herself to do that, and felt undignified twisting her features for Miguel’s benefit. His big eyes sought hers, but she was uncomfortable staring back, as if he knew something about her that she didn’t know about herself.
“I haven’t spent much time around babies,” she said as she returned Miguel to Flora’s arms. Ana was sure the maid thought she was a bad mother.