Cowboy Casanova - Lorelei James [72]
“I don’t know. I have a few more weeks to figure it out.”
He sat beside her and took her hand. “Something else you said last week has been bugging me. You accused me of holding back with you. And I realized you’re right. I have been.”
Her eyes searched his. “Why?”
Because this thing with you scares the living hell out of me and I don’t want you to run out when I open up. “Probably because I’ve only been on one date outside the club in the last three years.”
“Recently?”
“A couple months ago. The awkwardness reminded me why I don’t go on dates. She talked the entire time, tellin’ me all sorts of personal stuff, and she got snippy when I didn’t blab my entire past life history. But it’s a habit because I don’t share personal things about myself at the club. I just share my body and my expertise. Crude, but true. So when you started asking me questions about what I like to do outside the club and at the ranch, I automatically dodged the questions.”
“Do you feel I’m prying into your life beyond the Dom/sub parameters we set?”
“That’s the thing, this situation is unlike any other for me too. I can’t fall into that same pattern with you.” Ben touched her face. “I don’t want to.”
“What do you want, Ben?”
“To really get to know you beyond those Dom/sub parameters. To let you get to know me. To hang out.” He didn’t add like normal people, because what was normal for other people probably wouldn’t ever be enough for them. “It’s a beautiful night. Would you take a drive with me?”
She struggled to respond.
So he gave her an out. “It’s okay if you say no—”
“I’d love to go.” Ainsley pecked him on the mouth. “Let me grab a coat.”
Ben opened the passenger door of his truck and helped her inside. The night air held a cold bite, which meant the end of the Indian summer was near.
Neither spoke as the pickup rolled away from Sundance. The sky was full-on dark. Hills and valleys that during the day were lined with fall’s glorious gold and red hues were austere shadows at night. The truck’s tires clacked against the road’s grooved surface and they didn’t meet another vehicle for ten minutes.
Welcome to Wyoming.
He turned onto a gravel road. The steep, twisty incline had Ainsley reaching for the strap above the door. “Good idea to hang on. It’ll straighten out here in a minute.”
As soon as they crested the hill, trees flanked the plateau. A plateau where nothing blocked the magnificent view of Devil’s Tower.
She leaned closer to the windshield. “Oh wow.”
Ben cut the engine and the lights. “I brought blankets so we can sit outside.”
He dropped the tailgate, covering the cold metal with an old sleeping bag. He wrapped a blanket around them, bringing her close to his body. “Warm enough?”
“Yes.”
They stayed snuggled together, soaking in the brilliance of the stars, content with quiet.
After a while, she said, “This is such a gorgeous spot. I didn’t know it was here.”
“It’s weird when you’re used to living among scenery like this—” he gestured to the sprawling grand vista, “—it becomes easy to take it for granted. So I come here when I need to be humbled.”
She threaded her fingers through his. “I’m happy you brought me to a place that matters to you. It is beyond amazing.”
“I’m glad you didn’t think I dragged you out here because I was too cheap to take you someplace else.”
Ainsley snickered. “But I need to ask… Did you bring girlfriends here when you were in high school?”
“Nope. It’s always been my private place. Well, as private as a public place can be.”
“Did you ever come to any life-altering decisions while soaking in the scenery?”
“Given that my workin’ life had been predetermined by bein’ born into a ranching family, I’ll say no.”
“Are you ever resentful that path was expected for you? And then Chase got to go off and do his own thing?”
The depth of the questions surprised him. Like she’d just been waiting for the chance to ask. “There are days, but I’ll admit those days are rare. I’ll also admit I’d probably feel differently about that life if I hadn’t