Cowboy Casanova - Lorelei James [71]
“Do I look like I have plans?”
Her locks were tamed in a ponytail and she wore sweats, not another of those snappy business suits. “You look great. But you always do.”
“Smooth talker. I’ll get these in water.” Ainsley hightailed it to the kitchen.
Christ. Was she afraid to be alone with him?
He followed her. When she turned from the sink and saw him, she jumped back. Not a good sign.
“Would you like coffee?”
“I’ll take something stronger, if you’ve got it.”
“Bombay Sapphire or raspberry vodka. Obviously my bar isn’t as well stocked as yours.”
He flashed a quick smile. “I’ll take a shot of the blue stuff.”
“It’s not really blue, silly man. It’s on the shelf behind you, help yourself. Lowball glasses are up there too.”
“Can I pour you one?”
“Sure.” She plopped ice cubes in both glasses and added tonic. “Let’s sit in the living room.”
Ben chose the loveseat opposite the couch, facing her. He looked around. “This is a great place.”
“Thanks. But I know you’re not here to admire my decorating skills.”
“Maybe I am, since I haven’t bothered to show up here before now.” He let his gaze wander. “The space suits you. Colorful. Classy. But not so formal. I’m glad to see you don’t mind mussing it up.” An afghan hung off one end of the couch. A half-finished crossword puzzle was on the coffee table. Boxes were stacked between the loveseat and chair.
“You do have a way with words.”
Regrets that you didn’t use your safe word last night?
“Why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind?”
He forced himself to meet her gaze. “I’m here to make sure you were all right after last night. You snuck out on me. Again. Just like that first night in the club.”
“Ben, it’s—”
“It’s not okay. Christ, it’s far from okay. Just hear me out, all right? ’Cause I’m not used to…doin’ shit like this.” He exhaled a frustrated burst of air. “Not that I don’t fuck up from time to time, but I’ve never had to approach a sub and apologize for my inappropriate Dom behavior.”
She said nothing.
“What I did was out of line. I won’t make excuses. I won’t be the guy who apologizes, and tries to defend his actions after the apology.”
“But?”
“But nothin’.” Ben studied his drink. “I was wrong. I made the punishment about what I wanted, instead of makin’ it about what you needed. That goes against everything I am as a Dom and as a man. Jesus. I…” He looked into her eyes and felt his stomach bottom out. “Ainsley. I’m sorry.”
“I know you are,” she said softly. “I knew it last night. But I appreciate you coming by and saying it and making sure I was all right.”
“So are we okay?”
“You mean am I willing to continue as we were? With me as your submissive for the next couple weeks?”
He nodded, fear clawing at his throat that he’d fucked this up.
“Yes. But I want to point out that although it was an extreme punishment scene for us, I could’ve said my safe word at any time. I didn’t.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I trusted you. I still do. Although I was confused during the scene and upset when it ended, I really understand why you did it.”
Immediately Ben was off the couch, framing her face in his hands, kissing her with sweetness, passion and gratitude. He murmured, “Thank you,” against her mouth. Taking a moment to rest his forehead to hers. Taking a moment to wallow in relief.
“However, I don’t know if I’m up for any Dom and sub play tonight.”
“We’ll put a buffer between last night and tomorrow night.” He traced the pulse pounding in her throat. “Because Bennett will be back tomorrow night. Guaranteed.”
Ainsley stared at him.
He bristled under her scrutiny. “What?”
“It’s not a role for you, is it? Not a once in a while thing. It’s who you are.”
“What? Bein’ a Dom?”
“Yes. You can tone him down. Put him aside for a while. But he’s always there.”
“Does that bother you?”
“Not as much as I thought it would. Because you’re the real deal in this situation. I’m not. I’m…what is the BDSM term? A tourist. I’m gawking around, wide-eyed, wanting to see and experience everything before I go back to where I belong.”
His hopes