Crash Into Me_ A Survivor's Search for Justice - Liz Seccuro [17]
I tried to remain calm. Surely Jim would be back for me soon. So I cooled my heels, trying to act normal. I inquired around the room about Jim’s whereabouts, only to be told several times, in so many ways, “Oh, he’ll be back soon. Just hang out here and he’ll be back to walk you home.” I sat and waited. My breathing felt shallow and a little panicky. What was in that drink?
Again, the tall man appeared at my side. Talking, leaning in, and whispering. Again, I shrugged him off, reiterating that I was waiting for my friend and that I would be going home soon, as I had an early class to attend. I shifted on the couch, twisting away and searching for someone, anyone that I knew. No one looked familiar. Then, he took me by the hand and lifted me off the couch.
The young man began to yank me toward a room, telling me he wanted to show me something.
“No. Really, I don’t want to see whatever it is. I’m fine here. Let me go back.” “No, you’ll like it!” he insisted. Pulling. Dragging. In the room, he grabbed a slender volume covered in green fabric from a nearby table, sat in a chair, and pulled me onto his lap with his arms locked around my waist. As I struggled to get free, he began to read poetry to me, and then to lick the area behind my ear. I pulled away, repulsed. I had done nothing to indicate I was at all interested in this person. “Hey, let me go!” I said with a forced smile. But I was serious and more than a little frightened.
He tightened his grip on me and told me to relax, but I broke free and ran to the room where Hud was locked in. I pounded on that door, screaming with all my might and kicking the door. It seemed like I was at that door, scraping and kicking and screaming for hours. It may only have been a minute or two. One of the brothers from behind the bar came up to me and yelled at me to shut up. The music suddenly got louder in the room and my protests were drowned out. This brother was extraordinarily tall, wearing a plaid flannel shirt and a navy and orange Virginia baseball cap. He picked me up like a sack of autumn leaves, threw me over his shoulder, and shoved me back into the room, depositing me into the waiting arms of the poetry-reading weirdo. He gave a high five to another brother. I screamed.
The door was slammed shut loudly and the lights were cut. I swam in total blackness and could not stand on my own. Someone was holding me up and ripping my clothes off roughly, restraining me first by one arm, then the other. My sweater was stretched over my head, my skirt unzipped and roughly shoved down to the floor. My white cotton bra was unhooked and my matching white panties yanked down over my knees, which caused me to fall. I was wildly shaking my head and flailing. Horror washed over me. I had never been naked in front of anyone in my life. At that point, I was shoved roughly onto the bed. I could hear him unzip his pants as he covered my mouth with his hand, hissing “Bitch, shut up.” He sat down on my thighs so that I couldn’t move my legs and the pain was intense. I realized I was still wearing my shoes. I was able to bend my knees at an outward angle at one point and kick him in the back with my hard wooden soles. My assailant yelped in pain and moved farther down on my legs, sitting on my shins now to stop the assault of my kicks. Rubbing his hands over my breasts, he tried to fondle me as I twisted away from his grasp, batting his hands away as best I could. He quickly pinned down my arms with his forearm. Panicking, I could hear myself panting and gasping for breath. I screamed again, but don’t think any sound escaped my mouth.
The assailant was still fully clothed from the waist up, with his pants pulled down around his ankles, from what I could feel. I could feel his bare, sweaty thighs on me. He tried to force his penis inside me, but I was